Playing the race card

Racial profiling is a key part of how I came to be under surveillance. My extreme sensitivity to social prejudice has made me an interesting case study for the government from the start, and they have learned much from my day-to-day adventures.

In a nutshell: growing global trends, and my own seemingly unbelievable experiences, suggest to me that playing upon racial stereotypes and encouraging social divisiveness will be a key strategy for increasing public conservatism - or apathy - and strengthening support from wealthy elites.

'Divide and Conquer' based on race and other social differences is powerful. With extensive psychological profiling (of individuals and groups), data mining, information storage, and other advanced surveillance technologies, there may be little room to resist.

Did you know one could be in a room with a bunch of average-seeming people, yet all these people could have tiny radios placed in their ears and be receiving instructions on where to go, and how to behave, from a central command point (usually someone observing from behind hidden cameras)?

That's what my hospitality experience in large venues has taught me.

(This device gives an idea, but I actually believe they have even smaller ones. There are also ones that merely amplify sound, costing as little as 20 bucks.)

What's feeding my dismal view today? I hadn't checked my family emails for awhile, and just read this message from my father:

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 11:39:01 -0700

HELLO KID:

GOT YOUR LTR. PLEASE DO NOT PAY TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO THOSE [harassment] ACTIVITIES . WE ALL HAVE TO LIVE OUR LIVES WITHOUT WORRYING TOO MUCH. ANYBODY DUMB ENOUGH TO DO THIS IS JUST WASTING TIME AND MONEY ON USELESS PURSUITS.

JUST IGNORE THEM. NO HARM WILL COME TO US. THE NICE
FELLOW UPSTAIRS WILL LOOK AFTER YOU AND ME.

VERY GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE MAKING GOOD PROGRESS.
HOPE YOU'LL HAVE THE BURDEN LIFTED SOON.

DAD

Maybe you can tell my father's a little tired of my worrying about surveillance.

A message from Pops - so what? Well, I opened my email box and found the colour settings had been changed.

I also found 46 spam messages in my Bulk email folder, beginning on the same day as my father's message (August 31), and continuing till the present. These are the only messages in my Bulk folder. (see below)

All the messages have attachments and use similar Subject titles ('Your document,' 'Your picture,' 'Your website,' etc). Most seem to originate from Asia, or from people with Asian names.


(Click on image to enlarge.)


Screenshot 1



Screenshot 2



Screenshot 3



Screenshot 4


What the government expects people to do is to cast a negative and suspicious slant on both my family and myself based on ethnicity. What a joke. But you know what? It works.

They've watched it work for the past several years, as I've faced constant prejudice and racism in our extremely multicultural city. Social divisions are growing, and economic resources are increasingly strained - a sure recipe for trouble. (I've written before about Canada's need to build social bridges, foster national unity, and help strengthen the country, as a whole. Files to come.)

I admit many situations have been exacerbated by my own state of emotional unwellness, social ineptness, hypersensitivity, and reactiveness. I'm also pretty attune to underlying tensions (too much so). Plus I often provide running commentaries or retrospective analyses on things, like interracial politics, and I have often commented on how Asian/Chinese people (we all look the same...) are fast becoming the most resented ethnic group in Canada.

So what?

By surveilling me, the government has been able to observe the social havoc I often create (not intentionally), and how much I *push people's buttons*. I believe they've learned to pay close attention to subtle cues in how people speak (tone, inflection), behave, respond, interact, and so on - and may focus particularly on the power dynamics around race, gender, orientation, and so on. This has likely made their covert operational activities many times more effective and far-reaching.

Put it this way: my 'theories of social oppression' are borne out of lived reality on a daily basis. *If* my interactions are being actively recorded and analyzed, then testing out and recreating certain situations could help intelligence agencies develop useful strategies for social control. It's powerful research data.

Several of my relatives are third- and fourth-generation Canadians of Asian ancestry, and some have written books on cultural identity. This isn't a reason to surveille me, but it does fill out the picture a bit.

The irony is, my entire family did not believe me for three long years. Average, middle-class, educated folks we all are. With the exception of myself, all of my extended family have careers and are mostly professionals. Yet racism works in such a way that one can become a nobody and a miscreant in the blink of an eye.

Correction: There are a couple of exceptional individuals in my family. If I talked about them, people might see that what I'm saying is not so crazy.

Government security bodies are extremely interested in studying different ethnic groups. Unfortunately, they're goal is to undermine social power, rather than ensure real security, or foster commitment from people towards strengthening the country.

I'm all for tightening immigration. Started contemplating this problem about two decades ago. But it's complicated, and from what I've experienced of surveillance and harassment, and presume is happening to others (including physical harm), I don't have much confidence that positive solutions are being sought.

To clarify, again, the reasons I've been surveilled for so long are:

1) racial profiling;
2) having passionate ideas for socio-environmental action and change;
3) outspoken commentary on social inequalities, particularly around race;
4) my unusual interactions with people and extreme impact on others' behaviour.

Being off the wall

Do you see 'Fool' written on my forehead? I sent my weblog link to tons of people, yet rereading my frantic blather, I can see how people might think I'm completely whacked. I myself wonder sometimes.

All I can say is that all the anomalies I've described or alluded to - and those I have yet to write down - are based on actual events.

My political critiques are nothing earth-shattering - pretty standard. But this grandiose idea of being surveilled and harassed with such persistence by so many people, and even institutions, is a bit much. Probably sounds like a storyline from a second-rate Hollywood thriller.

Wish it was my imagination, or self-delusion. Been in therapy for awhile, so it wouldn't be a huge misnomer to be called crazy. And yet, I'm not. Emotional, yes. Suspicious due to overt harassment, yes. I've been to hell and back, psychologically and otherwise, but have never lost touch with reality. (...Right, Batman?)

I realize the last thing people want to read is absurd and depressing theories from a pedant like me. Yet I desperately need people to know what's going on.

Suggestions? Let me know...

Just calls

Noting these calls...

1:15pm - 647-295-9177 (no message) This might have been from the Rogers technician who was doing an area sales visit, but if so, he left no message, so it doesn't make sense.

4:30pm - 'Private Caller' (beeping call)

Bunch of stuff happened today. Will post later - please come back to read it!


Hear some other calls. Also have several cassette tapes with more calls.

Websites and helicopters

Sure, my personal rants and daily experiences are petty and mundane. But what's *amazing* is the constant bizarre problems I experience, their timing, and how they predictably do one of several things:

A) Frustrate me (and I become angry, emotional, or reactive);
B) Undermine my credibility;
C) Slow down my activities or progress.

I've been looking, first, for a new Internet provider, and second, for a possible webhost for the past two weeks. Also trying to find software to create a website/journal with. (Hard work for a non-techie; it's been over four months now.)

So what's happened in the past month?

I've had wrong number and fax or marketing calls aplenty.

Both my mother and I have had repeated problems connecting to the internet, sometimes for several days (her problems always occur when I stay over), plus we're getting some weird responses from technicians (info to come). Had to call Bell six times this week, alone.

Past few nights, I've had continual problems connecting with two websites, yet all others worked fine:

1) Potential webhost provider, whom I was emailing about web security;
2) OpenSourceCMS.com (allows people to test out various blog software).

So what? So...my urgent quest to get a website going is hampered by selective internet glitches. I wrote the webhost provider company: their logs show no problems. Yet I wasn't able to access their site for extended periods for two out of three nights. Doesn't make sense.

For the second website problem, I called Bell. Technician seemed incapable of spelling 'opensourceCMS.com,' and it took Valerie-with-the-Southern-belle-accent three attempts to get the address right.* She finally confirmed a webpage error.

(*Note: I've said before that the government likely has many 'moles' within Bell, plus Bell co-operates with the government in doing wiretaps, etc. My technical help calls could easily be forwarded to specific customer service reps; I've had several strange conversations. This has been happening with Bell since about December 2002.)

I emailed opensourceCMS.com to confirm whether their site's been having any problems; am awaiting a reply.



Had this error page several times since Wednesday.



Was able to access site with no problem in the past, so it can't be my computer's 'settings'.


I've also been having problems with MisterPrivacy.com, an anonymous surfing link, ever since I've been sending it to people. Wonder if anyone else is having this problem?

First day it happened, I couldn't access any websites, so...I called Bell. Problem resolved itself before the technician could help me. From that day forward, I've only had problems accessing MisterPrivacy.com, which is my default homepage, plus the two sites mentioned above.

Nothing conclusive here - just recording the facts.

Sounds inane and ridiculously nitpicky, but you'd have to experience it daily to understand why I don't think this stuff is coincidental. Sure, *shit happens*, but these are very specific incidents.

Here's another example from about two years ago:

Went to meet a friend, whom I hadn't seen in a long time. This person never believed my claims of surveillance -- even though we both know this other person, who had a job interview with the FBI. (See other post.)

Before going to my friend's, I went to three different places (eg, cyber cafe, etc). While speaking to the person behind the counter, at each place, the phone rang. I was filled with dread knowing it'd be a wrong number. I was right - all three times. (This scenario has happened many other times, as well.)

Yet the people answering the calls were clearly surprised; they obviously didn't get a lot of wrong number calls. Meanwhile, the caller would keep on asking for so-and-so. Not a quick, sorry, and hang-up call.

Later, at my friend's, the phone rang, just as I was leaving. I stared at it nervously. Sure enough, it was a wrong number. Then, I find out my friend and her family had been receiving similar calls every night, for the past three nights - ever since we arranged to get together. Plus, when they had first called me, I had asked, "Aren't you worried about the surveillance stuff?" They dismissed the idea completely.

For over two years, I discouraged people from phoning me to shield them from government scrutiny. Looking back, I can see how ridiculously naive I was.

[Edit: See movie National Treasure.]

===============================================

Have you seen helicopters in action?

In June, I had talked to someone about attending the Citizens' Inquiry into 9-11 conference (May 25-31, 2004). She mentioned police surveillance via helicopters in her own low-income area. Ever since that conversation, I've had helicopters flying by my window, or over my place. It's happened over 10 times.

Several times, one has flown from quite a distance straight towards my window. I can see and hear it coming for nearly two full minutes, from where I'm seated. These flyovers have always been at night. Every single one has coincided with my writing long messages about surveillance, either for this web journal or to email specific individuals -- eg, well-known activist, journalist, and so on.

The helicopters seem to have an extra light on. Maybe not a search light, but something hanging down with a light attached. Possibly a camera?

Why mention this? Two reasons: a) it just happened now, while writing this post, and b) about 2 hours ago, I was reading a post on Being Jennifer Garrett, and how she had a run-in with the cops.

So...? Well, a couple of months ago, I had emailed Jennifer Garrett, a popular blog writer, to ask how she had created her weblog (webjournal). She uses Angelfire.com, and I've been trying out Tripod.com (both are free webhosts under Lycos.com).

What's a weblog? Read here.

I figure the more people who know about my dilemma, the better. But after contacting Jennifer Garrett, I also wondered if she'd have any weird incidents.

(First year after the September 11th attacks in 2001, unpleasant things happened to various people, whom I discussed my surveillance situation with. They were often the only people who'd listen to me. One got beaten up, another got mercury poisoning, and so on. Coming out of a severe depression, lasting several years, I've become slightly more credible and coherent - yet the pattern of mishaps continues.)

So big deal, Jennifer Garrett gets a police warning, and I read about it tonight. I can't explain more, until other facts come to light. So I'll just say what I did next.

I ate my dinner, and two hours later, I start writing this blog entry. Lo and behold, a helicopter is flying fairly low towards my window. Gazing out, it's flying straight in line with my view for over a minute. A little intimidating.

Prior to June 2004, I do not recall seeing a helicopter before - EVER. Now I see or hear them regularly, flying low, lights on, loud and clear. And sometimes, several times in one night. Very strange.

(Please recall the recent police chief garfuffle.)

-----------
Notes to above:

The Citizens' Inquiry into 9-11 (May 25-31, 2004) was my first chance to publicly discuss concerns about how the 'War Against Terrorism' must logically impact Canada. I also mentioned my own experiences of surveillance, and passed out copies of articles I had begun collecting immediately after the September 11th attacks that questioned the official news stories. Although the conference wasn't well publicized and turn-out was low, the event was recorded for both radio and television.*

*Note: The overall turn-out was NOT the organizers' fault. *Coincidental* mix-ups on the part of PR companies meant that thousands of posters never got put up. Unfortunately, negotiations with U.S. filmmaker and activist Michael Moore also fell through, due to certain contractual stipulations. Moore would've been a major media draw, but his speaking fee was higher than the event organizers could realistically shoulder. I fully expected the poster oversight to happen, but I was too busy and stressed out to contact anyone, and I did not know whom to call. People have NO IDEA what's going on in Toronto - and why should they? Nevertheless, there's some serious shit going down.

Capitalism from an American's perspective

"As Greider writes, '“My premise: we have reached a rare moment in history when Americans have the opportunity (and obligation) to confront the destructive qualities of the U.S. economic system and reform it in profound ways. That is, alter capitalism's operating values and its imperious power structure that produce the damaging consequences for society, the confinements on people's lives and values, the collisions with nature and our future. Americans are more powerful than they imagine. People have the potential to force organic changes on the system from within. Many smart citizens are already at work on it.”'

"Greider is [a] long time respected journalist and author. He was an editor at the Washington Post and wrote for Rolling Stone Magazine. His book on the history of the Federal Reserve, “Secrets of the Temple” is a classic on American economic history. His 1992 book, “Who Will Tell the People,” is an insightful look at the tragic state of American democracy." (Excerpted from OfByandFor.org. Link: http://www.ofbyandfor.org/)

Miracles of telephony

Found out today the 416-236-3636 number that's called me three times in the past week is Primus, a telephone and internet service provider.

What's interesting is that I had called them last week to find out if their hi-speed internet is comparable to Bell's (right now I'm on the free promotional offer). BUT I had used *67 to block my calls to Primus and others. So I'd say that's pretty aggressive marketing, if they're responding to my initial call. It may also confirm what I've said to others for awhile: phone blocking can be bypassed.

About two years ago, I was running around like a madwoman using payphones and calling cards in all seasons, and at all hours of the day and night, trying to escape the pervasive surveillance I seemed to be experiencing. Yet I gradually came to realize that my efforts were futile. Researching further on the internet, I learned that all phone calls and faxes -- whether by landline, internet, or wireless -- are being recorded, and can be traced at any time. Individual profiles can also be compiled.

Many people refuse to believe all this, but it's true. Yet, while culprits and criminals can and have been caught through their use of phones, who's to say the technology and individual profiling aren't being used on law-abiding citizens? Take a look at some articles on security, telephony, legal jurisdiction, etc., and you'll soon discover that these are not 'conspiracy theorist' ravings.

Computer spyware from various companies and websites are already profiling people via their computers (eg, surfing habits, interests, newsgroups, listservs, personal data). If you doubt this, try downloading Ad-Aware to clean your computer, and see what you find.

'Police chiefs propose wiretap surcharge' - Toronto Star (August 16, 2004)

'Police chiefs want more access to private e-mail' - Toronto Star (August 23, 2004)

' Wiretap laws need overhaul, police chiefs say' - CBC News (August 23, 2004)


Other fascinating surveillance trivia...much of which is well underway in Canada.

And three more...

Yesterday and today, I had these calls:

1. Sept 21, 2:21pm - 'Unidentified' (no message)

2. Sept 21, 7:26pm - 'Unavailable' (beeping message below)

3. Sept 22, 11:03am - 416-236-3636, no name (no message)

The 6th beeping message in 13 days:

Monday night, I noticed an electronic whirring sound by my computer. Then, last night, I came home and noticed the computer was a bit sluggish.

Heading to bed, I left it on for maintenance reasons. (I'm trying to learn basic computer care.) My screensaver makes a bubbling water noise, so I was also able to notice the volume had been turned down, yet I hadn't adjusted it lately.

I turned the volume back up, and went to sleep. This morning, I was already awake, when the phone rang, just once. (Too brief to even register.) Then, my alarm clock radio immediately came on.

(I was telling someone just yesterday how I used to get crank calls from unidentified callers the very moment I'd wake up in the morning. This began about three years ago and would happen every day for 1-2 weeks at a time. That's when I first started piecing together the anomalies, and suspected I was being surveilled.)

Being lazy, I stayed in bed. Fifteen minutes later, I received Call #3 above. I attempted to answer because it rang several times, but then, I realized it's not a number I recognize.

(In the past three years, I've gotten literally hundreds of strange calls.)

An hour later, my alarm clock stops, as usual. Literally, one second later, the bubbling water sound on my computer also stops. Strange. Exactly ten minutes later, it comes back on, and then the neighbour beneath me slams the door hard and bangs on a metal railing.

First, the screensaver hasn't done that before; no reason why it should. Secondly, I cannot begin to describe the constant noise harassment I get from the neighbour beneath me, which seems to be directed solely at me.

It goes far beyond what any person could possibly guess about another neighbour's doings. Like, if I go to the kitchen, this person will be right underneath me and cough -- a long, loud, exaggerated cough. Then I'll go to the washroom, this person will be there and start coughing, as well. It can happen at all hours of the day and night -- and this is only the mild stuff. Intense banging and dropping and slamming , plus playing loud eerie music repeatedly, has been going on weekly, sometimes daily, for nearly two years.

Other people have moved out because of the noise. Most have noticed that it seems to be directed at me, and often coincides with my activities (eg, when I leave, when I come home, etc). A more decent neighbour has suggested that this person's drug use and permanent unemployment make for meanness.

At one time, another neighbour was being harassed with deliberate noise from tenants beneath her. She strongly suspected the landlord had initiated this to get her to move out. Long story.

I have reason to believe my surveillers have co-opted these same techniques and are blackmailing my landlord into carrying them out. I won't even begin to tell you about my heating situation over the past four winters, particularly on the most bitterly cold days.

[For the record, I never met the neighbour beneath me till many months after she had moved in. I'm generally quiet in the home and, while I can be belligerent in certain situations, I'm a fairly decent neighbour. Part of why my landlord wanted me out was because he was afraid I'd organize a tenant group. I was given an eviction notice two months after moving in. I had also written a letter about the cockroach situation (building hadn't been treated for years till after I moved in). Later, I put up a poster for a community food program; this was deliberately torn down (pics to come). I should've known on the first day, when he said: '*Bleep* bodies are good for sex,' and all his buddies leered at me. One guy asked if he could come up to my place. har, har 'Bleep' meaning racial slur.]

Are low-income people oppressed, abused, and exploited?

In my 15 years as a renter, I was fortunate not to have known the hazards of a terrible landlord. Nor did I fully know how powerless low-income people are, until my current living situation.

Sure, I've lived in India and travelled in developing countries, been a starving student, and so on. But living under a vindictive landlord's thumb is hell. Management has since changed hands (sort of), and various improvements have been made, yet the focused harassment I personally experience continues.

I'm not making claims about voodoo or ghosts. But I do have targeted harassment and constant weird incidents going on. These have gotten more frequent, more serious, and more threatening -- plus, they happen at very specific times. Usually on, or just after, days I've been outspoken about surveillance. This has consistently been the case for well over a year. If I made a chart, people'd see how close the timing is, and how persistent the problems are.

Three calls a day

How many different types of unidentified or wrong number calls can you get in a week? How about in one day?

2:05pm - 'Unavailable' (no message)

3:35pm - 'Private Caller' (person hung up)

5:34pm - 'David Smith, 416-367-8393 (message for Nick, starts formal, ends formal, and some kinda whatsup bro stuff inbetween)

Hear a sampling of other calls.

(If link above doesn't work, use MisterPrivacy.com, then copy and paste http://oneadventure.tripod.com/id4.html.)

Inner workings of capitalism and surveillance

I often step on toes in a clumsy attempt to reach out to people. So I'd like to clarify a few things:

I've got a lot more going on than mere phone calls, believe me.

Yet in order for people to understand how I could possibly be under surveillance, and why this relates to activists and people, in general, they need to know the overall context. People won’t get where I’m coming from, unless they know my current situation, and also what my past experiences have been.

The problem is, economics is a sensitive topic. As an identifiable person of colour, I find it even more difficult to talk about finances, etc, due to certain stereotypes (eg, I must be more of a capitalist, more corrupt, more materialistic, or whatever), especially within a climate of increasing socio-economic polarization.

Yet economics is totally relevant to surveillance and privacy issues. So I splashed right in, trying to describe my situation, and how it all relates. Perhaps not such a good idea.

But here's why economics and surveillance go hand in hand:

Despite having a fairly holistic vision for socio-environmental change, I still have to contend with daily needs and ongoing systemic oppressions.

The 'powers that be' would have learned a lot by observing me. Perhaps it's the unique mix of life, work, and academic experiences -- plus my social intensity and outspokenness -- that's made me a special case. All I know is that I went from being watched by a few to being harassed by many. I should also mention that someone I know had a job interview with the FBI to do undercover surveillance work here in Toronto, and someone else I know has mafia connections, which they made use of and told me about it, while I've been under surveillance. Can you see how things might mushroom from there?

Not only have I been unemployed for a long time (and emotionally unwell, depressed, angry), but then I started working for various hospitality personnel agencies. These agencies sometimes hire hundreds of people at a time; and some may do so, while paying people next to nothing. This has proved fruitful learning for the 'powers that be.'

Having worked at venues, big and small, all across the city, I have seen a lot, despite my previously isolated existence. I've worked at both the Progressive Conservatives' and Liberal Party's annual dinners, as well as other large-scale or important events.

I also worked at the Rolling Stones concert (July 31, 2003), for example, and was one of over a thousand people hired through a particular job agency. I had worked for them many times before; yet this time, I didn’t get paid. (This has been my experience with several jobs, but it was unexpected with this employer.)

The Stones or SARStock concert is a classic case of capitalism at work. This was meant to be for the city, yet it catered to more privileged people and classes, and really the ones who benefitted by far were concessions contractors, sponsors, and organizers. Meanwhile, people like me sweated it out for 12 hours lugging beer and ice, I couldn't hear the music, and didn't see one dime for my efforts. Big bucks, cheap labour.

On top of it all, guess what? Yes - surveillance, folks.

By observing me in these different scenarios -- educated but broke -- and then studying the exploitative, yet effective, practices of some employers, plus the fact that there’s a lot of ethnic diversity in manual labour type of work, security agencies could learn a lot about how to manage people (with me often being a catalyst for interpersonal dissensions). It's also a useful means of recruiting people as low-level, low-cost spies.

(Obviously, this will take some explaining, so please don't expect me to convince you in just one post that pervasive government surveillance is going on.)

But let's suppose some people working at the concert are 'plants' -- or even many of them. These people don't just spy on or interact with me; I'm not so fascinating. In this case, the concert would offer an opportunity to co-ordinate people in confusing, high-density situations, while also training people to do undercover security work.

Guess what? It doesn't only happen at a Republican Convention. And why not start practising here in T.O.? The economic (and political) takeover is already well underway. This is not a scene out of ‘The Practice’ or whatever – this is real life.

Read the first two responses in Now's Letters to the Editor (‘Don’t Blame Air Canada,’ ‘Incredible Exploding Morals;’ Sept. 9-15, 2004).

I once wrote a lengthy email about how the movie industry is a great means of hiring masses of ordinary people, not just as film extras, but also as low-level enablers or 'plants'. The movie project mentioned above seems pretty ironic and symbolic in light of activist concerns about post-911 'security measures', don't you think? Perhaps it's deliberately so.

Conservative agendas are seldom impulsive acts. I believe the government places people as 'plants' or enablers in workplaces, community groups, and so on, well in advance. But beyond that, they probably help people set-up actual, legitimate institutions or organizations, through which they can both feed people through and hand-pick recruits (eg, technical colleges, bartending schools, etc). This can include NGOs. International ones are even better.

You may think there's no connection here, but what’s interesting is that many workplaces (and some individuals) I've come into contact with, whom I believe are being co-opted by the government (either openly or indirectly), have suddenly received BIG boosts in their business and/or have undergone major changes recently. This wouldn't mean much -- if it was just one instance -- but it's happened in every single case, and I've then had strange interactions with people from each organization (notes to come).

For example, that hospitality agency I worked for had mostly small jobs before, placing a few people here and there. Yet for SARSstock, they, alone, received the largest concession contract out of so many food & beverage companies and agencies, hiring something like 1200 people.

By some twist of fate, people whom I had suspected of being plants through past encounters were also employed by this same agency, and ended up in my group. I also seemed to be the only person who didn't get paid. This is what I mean by subtle harassment, and yes, it is intentional: they still haven’t paid me. It's been over a year.

I’ve had a claim in with the Ministry of Labour, yet the Ministry has no legal authority or binding power, so I’m out of luck. Yet even the person handling my case was extremely surprised, and bristled at how openly the job agency disregarded the Ministry’s requests. The job agency made no attempt to hide the fact that they chose not to attend the labour hearing.

By the time of the hearing in March, the agency had changed hands. The owner by some lucky chance had been called up, out of the blue, and was offered a well-paying Food & Beverage position at York University. Just six months before The Stones concert, this man was thinking of closing his struggling business and returning to his native country of Jordan. Yet he somehow gets the biggest concessions contract at SARSstock, despite a multitude of competitors. This was considered the biggest concert in world history; sponsorship and contracts are not likely to be handed out randomly. Can anyone see the unlikelihood of what I'm pointing out?

Shortly after this, the owner then gets offered an excellent chef position at York* – which was not openly advertised, but was by invitation. (He told me this by phone, so it’s not second-hand news.)

*Note: While York University has a progressive reputation, some may be aware that the school's administration, as with most places, is highly conservative.

I know it doesn't sound like much, but there are countless other scenarios. I cannot explain them fully, for various reasons. And yes, I know - in itself - it means absolutely nothing.

But when this pattern repeats itself constantly, PLUS my getting weird phone calls, meeting strangers in the street who know stuff about me, being deliberately hit on the head twice within 7 months, having things tampered with, both online and in my home (photos to come), one has to wonder...

Let's put it this way: no one believed me for three years, but some are beginning to.

And if I am under surveillance, *they* (Big Brother) would also have been recording all the illegal goings-on in my building, which I believe has allowed them to blackmail my landlord, as well as fine-tune their ability to prey upon, or otherwise co-opt, both low-income people and people from different ethnic communities.

Is this important? I think so; it’s powerfully important.

Explaining things by going against the grain is not popular, so I'd like to clarify the economics issue, again. While Canada has many strengths, we are still unwilling to discuss economics in a sensible, holistic (and hence, effective) way -- simply because it's not polite to do so. Yet our avoidance of these issues is detrimental to the country's progress, and frankly, makes us very vulnerable to the U.S. and other foreign investors, who are *not* in denial about capitalism.

Yes, volunteerism may represent about $86 billion in revenue (saw this today) -- but it also means a lack of independence from government and donors, who are increasingly unreliable or unavailable, and also, the majority of unpaid volunteers are women. Social enterprise is greatly needed. I could suggest many reasons why it's not happening much, or isn’t happening effectively. But I'll spare you another diatribe.

And check this out:

...has particular expertise in structuring, negotiating and completing merger and acquisition…in cross-border transactions involving Canadian and United States corporations...has helped private sector clients involved in many industries...[and] has also assisted public utilities and has worked on public-private sector projects including privatizations.

...recently was involved in a large transaction involving the privatization of a major Canadian railway formerly owned by the Government of Canada. As part of the restructuring which preceded what has been termed "the largest initial public offering in Canada" and which included the transfer of many valuable non-rail properties such as, amongst others, the CN Tower...took the lead in lengthy negotiations with the Government including the Departments of Transport, Public Works, Finance and Justice and in structuring and concluding the transaction.

Yep, I must be delusional. In fact, a therapist I was seeing insisted on diagnosing me as having delusional disorder. Considering all the facts -- my coming to the attention of authorities, being threatened with an investigation, and then exacerbating the situation, plus being highly political, controversial, outspoken, and emotionally volatile, and also having clear indications of harassment (at the very least – a harassing landlord, vandalism, theft, bizarre people, intimidating encounters, weird calls), etc -- my claims of surveillance are not completely out of the question.

Why, indeed, would the government want to sell off Toronto?

Why would security agencies have enablers and plants in various organizations, community groups, and even government positions?

Why carry out mass recruiting of spies and enablers, especially from diverse ethnic communities? (eg, taxi drivers, security guards, hospitality workers, etc)

Of course there's no connection between government, big business, and organized crime.

Isn't 'US-Canadian relations' just an evening news headline?

Will keep you posted on the continuing saga...

Being holistic, and being oneself

It’s a lovely fall day, yet I’m preoccupied with my own melodramas. I feel like telling people: No, I'm not crazy -- just stressed and weary!

Here’s my beef: straight talk about personal economic realities shouldn’t be taboo. I haven't been emotionally well for several years, people don't believe I'm being harassed, and I've been dependent on my mother for most of that time (forcing her to remortgage her home, and eventually move altogether), so yes, I'm feeling more than a little desperate.

No one can quite imagine my situation, coupled as it is with insidious surveillance. So no one can fully appreciate how bloody twisted the authorities are in carrying out their unscrupulous activities. I have LOTS of indirect evidence, yet no power or resources to do much of anything.

People may not believe me today (and it suits the authorities, if people are discrediting me), but maybe when every single thing I've mentioned or analyzed about local, national, or global politics comes true, folks may be forced to reconsider their positions or personal beliefs, and they may even understand my ongoing sense of urgency and desperacy.

Thinking about economics holistically is something I learned by working and travelling in Asia and India. Come to think of it, my thinking about economics, period, was developed while I was overseas. Before, I used to be a 'bleeding-heart Liberal,' and an outspoken advocate of socio-political causes, yet I had very little concept of economic frameworks. I'm a changed person.

Being in Asia, I could see the effects of globalization on both a micro- and macro-scale. We're pretty sheltered here.

Through my experiences abroad, I also understood how my previous efforts at, say, setting up paper-recycling, reusing stuff, buying used clothing, carrying my own cup and tupperware, and so on - in short, trying to make a smaller ecological footprint - were almost pointless, feel-good endeavours in comparison to the actual wastage going on. I also saw that disproportionate socio-political power means one person can render the efforts of many people completely meaningless.

(Note: I'd be the first to admit that, while I'm interested in ecologically-friendly approaches, I'm hardly a live-off-the-land type. I do like my hot showers. But I live pretty simply; I don't have a car, no TV, no microwave, no dishwasher, sometimes do my laundry using the Wonder-Washer, and so on. At one point, however, I had a deep fear of public places and drove a gas-guzzling car for a year. My peers in a grad program may recall this, yet, they still fail to understand where I was at.)

Living in India, I better understood the need for democratic, grassroots economic development and autonomy.

Several people I greatly admire happen to be from India. Two particularly inspiring people are freedom-fighter Mohandas 'Mahatma' Gandhi and Kiran Bedi, India's first woman police officer. Profound visionaries, both Bedi and Gandhi have/had an unlimited scope of interests, covering such diverse topics as: social reform, environment, economics, personal development, sports, health, spirituality, and so on.

I had the immense honour of meeting Kiran Bedi. What the first article doesn't mention is that Bedi helped turn the world's largest prison, one that was rife with abuse and corruption of a magnitude many people cannot even conceive, into a place that recycled all it's natural waste, did community gardening, had prisoners engage in daily meditation and yoga, created a prisoner's fund for families of convicts by starting a bakery and selling homemade baked goods, encouraged impoverished, socially-dysfunctional inmates to teach one another useful work skills (instead of reinforcing ways to be more delinquent or violent), and so on. Miracle doesn't nearly describe her work. But, while Bedi has had 'Breakfast with the (U.S.) President' and has received many international awards to recognize her phenomenal work, few people know about her accomplishments. I feel what Kiran Bedi has done, and strives to do, is on par with Mother Theresa - and she's had far less social support and goodwill behind her.

My overall point is:

1) Holism is necessary for creating effective change -- economics cannot be separated or compartmentalized;

2) Discussing economics openly doesn't make one an innate capitalist, or even financially astute (look at me for chrissakes), and

3) Don't judge a book by its cover; no single group or race has a monopoly on integrity, or other positive traits. Even if my daily experiences try hard to convince me otherwise.

Too bad that in today's rationalistic, Descartesian society, people have grown so accustomed to separating things in a dualistic fashion, and will only accept the rational or logical aspects. Even Descartes, the founder of modern-day rationalism, was a far more whole being. He was widely travelled and wrote many essays on spirituality and metaphysics. Unfortunately, he never published these out of fear for his life, under the Church's iron rule.

People still favour rationalistic ways, without allowing or acknowledging personal emotions or spirit -- yet, these are central to our very beings.

I'm not good at communicating or embodying a 'new way', but I do try to envision it. I've seen glimpses of it and believe it is possible. Our worst enemy -- contrary to prevailing attitudes in social or environmental circles -- are not capitalists, or even capitalism. Our worst enemy can also be our best friend, and the answer may be found in a book, written by a friend, whom I met while working in Hong Kong.

The Search for Earthy’s Best Friend (http://www.earthy.com.hk/)

(Have you guessed who your best friend may be...?)

I’ll probably spout more about life, work, and travels in Asia later. It was a profound learning experience. At one point, I lived on a beautiful island with organic farms and no cars, and met interesting people from all over the world. This helped remind me that the planet is, in fact, round.

Environmentalism has many allies, supporters, and practitioners -- modern and traditional. We need to appreciate everyone in all their beauty and diversity, and somehow bridge the gaps by embracing new and inclusive ways of thinking, seeing, and being together.

I know I’m a damaged person; I also live in an unhealthy society on an ailing planet. If we don’t start acknowledging these things, there will be no future...except perhaps for those who can afford to migrate to outerspace. And that ain't just science fiction anymore.

I fear there will be no one like environmentalist Tooker Gomberg in the future. Tooker was an inspiration and a guiding light. If we, as activists and truth-seekers, explore and make new realities together, then perhaps responsibility and suffering would not fall on the shoulders of a few.

(For the record, I questioned Tooker Gomberg's unexpected passing in some detail. I had been concerned about his safety and, I believe, I was even able to pinpoint some irregularities by analyzing the unlikely sequence of events before his death. However, with due respect to his surviving loved ones, I'm putting this issue to rest for now. Yet I do consider it an unresolved tragedy, which I believe holds serious implications for all activists and conscientious objectors.)

That said, also know that undercover 'moles' are many and are well-placed. They pass so well! It's extremely easy for them to take up positions, and appear to be doing good work, while quietly monitoring activities, or subtly manipulating things behind the scenes - just by being there. They have the resources, connections, power, and influence of the government behind them. Please also remember: while most activists are unpaid volunteers, who are busy getting burned out, these people are actually being paid.

Not to be all negative and hopeless, I do believe change is possible. But in troubled times, co-operation and mutual understanding are key.

If we speak in circles of wise council, change is not a burden: it is a healing, energizing, and transformative space. In circle, I can actually sit down with someone I dislike or distrust, and still find meaningful connections. It is possible.

“We need to remember that we can do little alone and yet much together. To be effective, leaders [organizations, communities] must look beyond the walls of the corporation, the university, the hospital, the agency -- and work to build a cohesive community that embraces all its people....” - Frances Hesselbein, 'Managing in a World That's Round'

StudyCircles.org - http://studycircles.org

PeerSpirit.com - http://peerspirit.com

The Secret of Great Groups - http://leadertoleader.org/leaderbooks/L2L/winter97/bennis.html

Innovation Means Relying On Everyone’s Creativity - http://leadertoleader.org/leaderbooks/L2L/spring2001/wheatley.html

Beep me again, Sam

If you've read other posts, you'll know I've had about 5 of these beeping marketing calls in 2 weeks (didn't bother posting one of them), and countless ones previously.

I even commented about how one had no return number. Then, of course, the next one had a number attached, but the one after doesn't. Let's see what happens in future.

This one came in as 'Private Caller,' which I believe means manually blocking the call (*67). Also, normally the beep goes on about 2-3 times, but this one gets cut-off almost before the first beep has ended. To me, it almost sounded like someone had stopped the call (hung-up), which would mean it isn't an *automated* marketing call. But unfortunately, you can't tell what I mean on this recording below; the volume's too low.

a Trojan, and not the sexy kind

Right after circulating my weblog link to various folks late Tues night/early Wed morn, I got hit by a computer virus (Trojan Autodialler, which apparently uses your computer to make calls). What timing. I've been talking so much about computer security, lately. This is the first time I've ever gotten a computer virus.

While writing on my blog, I also had sudden problems with my internet service, then again about 12 hours later. Both times I was on hold ('all technicians are busy serving other customers'), despite the late hour. Then, I was told service was down for maintenance until 6am (called at 2:45am).

What's strange is:

- that's quite a long down period;
- there was no notification recording explaining any down time when I called;
- being on hold at a late hour, twice.

Sure this is hyper-analytical, but I've had many improbable incidents with Bell technicians. I have even confirmed with another computer tech guy that information I'm being given is not valid, and explanations are totally inaccurate.

Recent breakdowns in service happen at very specific times. Predictably, I call Bell and a technician walks me through steps that don't necessarily make sense or do anything, and yet, I'd never know the difference: service simply resumes.

Yes, I know, that sounds completely paranoid. But I've written before about the vagaries of telephony security, and how it relates to privacy issues. I also once pointed out that all the strange and persistent phone calls I get, year after year, indicates technical factors, or deliberate harassment - or both. Whether it's intentional or accidental, these things could NOT be happening without some technological maneouvering.

Are genuine calls being accidentally forwarded to my line? Or are people purposely calling me?

I haven't even begun to describe things that have transpired with Bell staff.

[Edit: Found out Friday that Bell Sympatico sells it's customer database.]

Never short of calls

As I've said, my voicemail box fills up regularly with unsolicited calls. Here's yet another beeping or marketing call, short on the heels of the two from last week (see other post). Received yesterday at 6:32PM.

Plus a call from D.M. Lawrence (416-251-8731) on Sept. 12 at 12:22PM, who wasn't able to leave any message because my box was full.

You might ask, if it's really phone harassment, why bother calling when the box is full??

Good question. My phone didn't have call display, so I often used Call Return service (*69) to check who the last caller was - even if my box was full - to prove to myself and others that I've been getting lots of calls from strangers. Basically, *they* (my surveillers) would know that it has the same effect on me.

Last week, I finally got a new telephone (haven't had a properly working one for nearly 2 years, which many people can attest to). While speaking to Bell, I noticed by some strange/interesting stroke of luck that I happen to have Call Display enabled, even though I've never ordered that service. Funny.

I've also had a few glitches with my phone bills this past year (eg, calls I never made). Like in May, I had a 4-11 Directory Assistance charge to an organization called, "Friends of Shopping Bag Ladies, Inc." Hmm...this was during a week when I was contacting some women's organizations. But the thing is: 1) I never used Directory Assistance, and 2) I definitely did not call this organization -- I've never even heard of them before.

I also suspect the 'Bag Ladies' part is a play on both my financial status (presently I have $30 in the bank, and have had a negative balance more times than I care to recall)*, AND the fact that I've been carrying my heavy backpack obsessively since 9-11 happened (reasons to come). Kinda like a bag lady. In fact, a number of people have jokingly commented, 'You're like a bag lady.'

I literally take my pack with me everywhere. I never leave it unattended -- not even in my apartment (unless I'm only gone for a short period of time). If I have to work somewhere, I bring my bag and either tape it or lock it - or do both. I once asked a neighbour to babysit my bag because I wanted 'a night off.' Unfortunately, I've actually offended some people because they thought I didn't trust them. Needless to say, my whole posture has been affected by all this -- it's damn heavy. I don't know if people can quite grasp what it's like to carry something everywhere and worry about it incessantly for three years.

Ironically, the Bell rep I spoke to about the 4-11 phone charge and other incorrect billings said, "The system never makes a mistake." She's probably right.

What's interesting is how many anomalies I've been having with Bell services in the past year, and my mother, too, during the past several weeks.

I hope some people may recall what I have written in past listserv posts or mail-outs about these various issues.

On this day in history...

Here's a really interesting phone call incident:

Two days after the World Trade Centre attacks had taken place on September 11, 2001, I received a phone call from someone, whom I believe is speaking in Arabic. (Yes, even back then, I was getting crank and wrong number calls.) The telephone number which this call came from was (416) 000-0000. Kinda like 'Ground Zero.' (Will post it soon; it's on cassette tape.)

Several months later, I spoke to a Bell representative, who confirmed that such a number must be set from within Bell.

So what does this imply? Did the hijackers take time out to give me a buzz, or what? ;)

[I will be posting more later about Michael Vreeland, a person claiming to be a US Navel Officer, who forewarned about the World Trade Center attacks. His note to authorities was only opened on September 13th, two days after the attacks. Regardless of how conflicted information about his background is, the fact is, he tried to get the word out. Soon after 9-11 happened, I began collecting articles that questioned the 'Official Story' being put out by U.S. Government and media.]

Computer privacy

If you haven't already done so, please download and use either Ad-Aware or Spybot Search & Destroy to clear your computer of spyware regularly.

As I've mentioned before, practically all websites have adware, and Tripod.com, my website host, is no exception. This weblog is okay.

I also recommend using MisterPrivacy.com whenever you surf the net. They will soon have SSL compatibility, which means you will also be able to use it on secure websites and webpages (eg, ones that require log-in, like email accounts; or sites that do online transactions).

I cannot recommend enough using Mozilla's FireFox internet browser. I love it. (Make sure you download the various 'extensions' here and here that make this browser so handy.)

Finally, clean your computer regularly with a program like Window Washer, CyberScrub, or Eraser (free). Otherwise deleted files, internet pages, and other crap that you didn't even know you had, will remain on your computer for years!

Post from the past...

Received two messages yesterday from someone named 'tim reynolds' (probably fake name) at oldguy_272001@yahoo.com.

First message had no words, just lines of dashes. Second message contained this post below, which is in fact written by me. I had posted this to an Organizational Learning listserv called Learning-Org, about 4 years ago.

Why spam me with my own listserv post at this time?

I'm currently participating in a community initiative, and have tried to raise issues around group facilitation, communication processes, etc. I also attend a weekly women's group, and had been talking to the facilitator last week about the challenges of allowing everyone a voice within a group setting. I then gave her copies of my writings about politics, activism, and surveillance.

The night I got this mysterious email, I was a bit wired and behaving very child-like (eg, talking to myself in a kiddie voice). Okay, I know that sounds crazy, but prolonged stress, going through a debilitating depression for several years, and social isolation can do strange things to people.

Anyway, the email sender's address is interesting: oldguy_272001@yahoo.com

Lately, I've been receiving increasing, yet subtle, hints that my life may be prematurely shortened. Too hard to explain right now.

But if the address has any meaning whatsoever, it's probably the 'oldguy' part. But why 'guy' and not woman? I've been called a 'ball-breaker' before, when really angry. On the night of my uncle's funeral, a guy deliberately hit me on the head and said, 'Oh, we thought you were a guy'. I happened to be balling my eyes out, at the time, yet he and his friend laughed in my face. (More info to come.)

I admit I've become increasingly aggressive and reactive towards people these past three years. (You'd be pissed off, too, if you were being illegally surveilled and harassed, plus feeling bogged down by constant social prejudice. Frankly, as a person of colour, one must constantly deal with hugely inaccurate and often negative assumptions.)

Anyway, if this message below isn't clear proof of internet hacking and surveillance, I don't know what is!

Check out it out...

(Have edited it for readability, based on my recent learning about the internet and websites over the past few months.)

-------------------------------------

To Learning-Org:

RE: Collaborative Online Learning

Right on, Bill! Thank you for putting into words something that I also feel, but have not been able to articulate. Your description of how a sense of balance and wholeness can be more easily achieved through in-person dialogue, and your questions about how this might be enabled online here at LO [Learning-Org list], really struck a chord with me.

I have had similar concerns for quite some time, but even more so afer a brief dialogue with someone offlist. We are missing out on the wisdom and treasures of so many out there!! More emotive or feeling people may be intimidated by the abstract, logical, hyper-intellectual, 'Socratic-style discourse' (Sajeela's apt description), and thus, feel indirectly silenced.

Other challenges:

- imbalances between introverts vs. extroverts;
- creating safe space for emotions vs. meeting practical timelines, etc.

Emotions take longer to gestate and are harder to express clearly. They also speak to one's sense of humanity, and don't always jibe well with people who want measurable outcomes and have practical agendas. And yet, both logical and emotional communication styles are invaluable and necessary.

"To administer a social organization according to purely technical criteria of rationality is irrational, because it ignores the nonrational aspects of social conduct." - Peter M. Blau (1956)

...and it's not just conduct, but also human responses and levels of engagement -- be it emotional, psychological, intellectual, spiritual, etc.

When I read from others about how they will continue to actively listen, I cringe because I feel this may be a signal to others, who have the same self-effacing attitude, to humbly keep listening and absorbing -- *without* sharing their own personal discoveries, stumblings, and masteries with us. This lopsided dynamic is common and is nobody's 'fault'. However, it is a sign and an opportunity for us to try and learn more collaboratively, and to find ways to create space for all to speak AND truly listen, in order to achieve greater community wholeness.

How do we find balances that allow wise beings of all kinds (silent, loquacious, and otherwise) to come forth? Do people feel safe enough to share on here? Are there opportunities for people to plug in according to their personal strengths, wishes, or learning styles?

I find this overall topic quite interesting. In an online, 'virtual' discussion space, how do we find ways of reaching that place of collective wisdom, while ensuring as many people as possible are actively involved in the process? How is this done when there is such broad diversity of experiences and perspectives among us?

After a bit of a shake-up, like we've just experienced here on LO (a "creation with death" perhaps, as Jon describes), people usually rush in to re-establish order and structure, and try to re-define comfort zones and familiar territory. Some of this is useful -- ie, re-finding common ground -- but it's equally important to remain open and flexible, explore the social ruptures, and maybe even embrace confusion.

[To better contextualize what was happening on the list, the challenges were these:

1) How to bridge the gaps between the experts and those seeking information or advice;
2) How to balance participation and feedback (listservs tend to fall into a pattern of being dominated by a few);
3) How to make the material / theories relevant to those living in multicultural cities, since a fair number of active members are from the U.S., South Africa, Pacific region, etc; and
4) How to essentially 'walk the talk'.]

The advantage of in-person meetings is that it's easier to make connections and foster dialogue. There is a greater likelihood of having communications flow freely. For example, when people are vibing collectively, hearty 'talkers' sense when to withdraw and let others speak, and those who are less verbally inclined start to come forward to share their powerful truths. When this happens, everything just comes together.

But how do we create that optimal balance online, with such a large group of people (approx. 1800 members), in asynchronous time? It's much harder to gauge one's impact on people in an online environment, and to also know when to participate and when to withdraw.

You asked for ideas, Bill. I too feel that having focus groups is extremely useful. Maybe this could be done on the new site that Rick has mentioned is being developed. Depending on its format, there could be ways for topics to evolve. I don't know how that might be done...but it would be great to be able to 'vibe with one's tribe' (ie, according to topic, or learning styles, etc), while still connecting within the main LO forum.

It's important for different needs to be met, and even for project ideas or outcomes to be developed, for the mutual benefit of all or various participants.

Examples of focus groups might be: a) more theoretically-inclined discussion, b) business, c) HR, d) social development areas, like education, environmental learning, and 3) philosophical areas, like art, philosophy, and so on.

Or things might just subdivide according to current interests--eg, artistic expression, venting about various problems (damn those bureaucrats), etc. I don't think it's about overstructuring LO, but simply hashing out ways to make it more responsive and help create a participatory learning culture.

These challenges shouldn't fracture our community here on LO; they should encourage us to pool our resources, and develop new ideas and connections, or simply facilitate individual expression.

People have expressed concerns that the 'great ones' [highly respected organizational learning theorists]* have left and are no longer participating on this listserv. I say, no worries, we can 'walk our talk' by developing our own *greatness*, and also help one another to reach new levels of wholeness. I for one don't feel we all have to be Olympic Learning-Org types to excel on here. If that's how others feel about organizational learning, then I am definitely in the wrong place!

*[Note: These learning-organization theorists had left long before, mostly, it seems, because they found other learning pools that fit their expectations better. The difficulty with the Learning-Org listserv is that it uses a linear, 'threaded' format. This makes truly collaborative and holistic discussion, learning, engagement, and dialogue a real challenge. Instead of building information and progressing forward, many ideas and topics would get repeated constantly, which might be frustrating for high-level experts.]

Developing one's potential is the key point. Yet it's also about living optimally within a system. My sense of the world evolving around me is that of a dual pull. There's a tension between trying to reach new heights of individual achievement and simultaneously encouraging democratic community development. Finding a balance between individuality and community, freedom and responsibility, intuition and logic, unity and diversity, and so on, is incredibly difficult, and yet necessary -- especially, if we are to ensure a healthy, peaceful world and ecological sustainability for future generations.


Sachidananda Mohanty summarizes it this way:

"No longer do we have the easier option, the exclusive choice. Today we must have environment as well as industry, learn to accommodate the search for an elitistic excellence with the quest for an egalitarian social order; we must combine internationalism with the demands of ethnic and regional cultures."

Being one of the more long-winded types on here, I will try to listen more. But I just couldn't help responding to Bill's and Graham's messages. Graham, I wish I could learn to be as concise as you! Are you a Scorpio, by any chance? :-)


Warmest wishes to all.
------------------
******************

To blog readers:

Wow, hard to believe I used to be a nice person -- despite the severe depression I was suffering at that time. Please note: the distrustful, sarcastic, or antagonistic person you may encounter today was once a sensitive, confused soul, who was wanting to be understood by people.

If you've gotten this far, you're probably wondering why this post is relevant and why it's being sent (spammed) to me at this time? I personally believe -- and have sometimes told other people -- that the conservative 'powers that be' have been feeding off my ideas. (How self-aggrandizing of me, eh.)

Not only have I been spouting about organizational learning, socio-environmental change, community action, and so on, but these surveillers would likely find my analyses of social oppression quite accurate. Plus theres the added bonus of watching all my clumsy social encounters (frequently involving aspects of race, class, gender, etc). I'm an unfunded social experiment.

If I am right in saying I've been under surveillance for the past several years, they would've observed all the extreme situations I've been through -- including being a social outcast for several years. (I'm only just coming out of it now, but am still a loose cannon, unfortunately.) :|

I make a good case study for human behaviour and social dynamics; I've been to hell and back -- socially, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually. There is good reason to believe that security bodies like CSIS or whoever has been tracking much of this journey. And if that weren't enough, I also believe they're using my experiences as fodder for creating new strategies for Divide-and-Conquer. (examples to come...)

Sounds pretty crazy, eh?

For somebody to spam me at my recently created email address, with an email posting I myself had written 4 years ago, on a topic that is totally relevant to my current activities and concerns -- I'd say they were keeping a pretty close watch on me.

Who has these kinds of resources, authority, power?

Clearing phone messages

As soon as I clear space for new messages, within a few hours or, at most, half a day, I get new wrong number or marketing calls.


Yesterday (Wed. Sept. 8)

Call #1:

9:29am - Naseem R. Shaikh 416-242-8189

• I had a previous call from this guy, many months ago. But get this: I dialled [*-9-8] yesterday to retrieve this message, and for a second time, I was somehow magically connected to an actual phone line -- just by dialing [*-9-8]! So Mr. Shaikh answers, 'Hello, hello...hello?' I recognized his voice immediately, as I've been repeatedly saving his message along with 23 others, week after week. But instead of answering him, or hanging up, I simply left the phone off the hook. I didn't actually call him, so I didn't feel compelled to respond, in any way.
  

• I have two different messages that seem to have the exact SAME VOICE, but one is from Naseem Shaikh, and the other message has a different name. The two telephone numbers are also very similar (416-461-8189 and 416-242-8189). But, strangely, it's the last four digits that are the same - not the first three, which are normally used to denote a specific locale, within an overall area.
  
  
• Above incident hearkens back to a phone message I received right after '9-11' happened (ie, September 11 attacks on World Trade Center in New York). The caller is speaking Arabic, I believe, and the number that registered in my voicemail was '(416) 000-0000'. In talking to a Bell Canada customer service representative, it was confirmed that such a number could only be set from within Bell.
  

Call #2:

2:03pm - Bomatic Inc. 905-673-6500



Today (Thur. Sept. 9)

Call #3:

8:16 am - Beeping fax call (ah, but this time it's an untraceable number; just yesterday I had posted a beeping call with a number attached.)


Call #4:

1:41 pm - R. Ubhi 902-434-4154


(How many long-distance wrong number calls do you get? I've had many.)

------------------------------------------------------


This past week, besides the calls, there have been several email contributors, who respond soon after me on several lists I'm on, which subtly, though indirectly, may polarize tensions between whites and non-whites. I'd say only one or two of these people are the real McCoys; the rest are suspect.

I also did a google search today for my website, and found two other 'oneadventure' web addresses. The first one, oneadventure.com, I already knew about and had been registered before mine.

The second one, oneadventure.de, is new, and while I tried doing a WhoIs search to find out more about this site -- including using Germany's dedicated WhoIs search -- I could find no information whatsoever, which is unusual, if not impossible: domain names must be registered.

Early on during my surveillance, I had discussed both race and world politics on a listserv, which was not inappropriate. Perhaps the difference was that: a) I had first-hand experience of the places I was talking about, and b) I also tried to relate my concerns back to the program I was attending at the time. I then mentioned that there was an upcoming meeting to discuss anti-oppression issues.

That was in 2000. Shortly after that, I began to have email anomalies, like messages bouncing from an email account at one provider (mailandnews.com) to a different email account with a completely different provider (mail.com). So, actually, I've been having email and internet problems on and off for several years now. Only thing that I could do about it was to stop using the computer altogether, which I did. (Disconnected internet for 2 years.)

I don't believe these pranks are being done by fellow students or even hate groups. The level of sophistication and persistence, and now, the amount of people involved, really suggest a body with resources dedicated to monitoring people - particularly 'subversives.'

There's more to this, but not enough time to write at this moment...