Been there and back
The other day, I signed off of my weblog, and I was planning to take a proper break. I was partly inspired by a book I happened to open that evening. It's written by a pastor, who works mainly with alcoholics, using the Twelve Steps method (see another definition). This practical guidebook on spirituality and egocentric human suffering is an excellent read. Despite all the religious terms it uses, which I found a bit hard to get past, I surprised myself by reading the whole thing - and even rereading it. (Mind you, it's pretty short.)
Given how political I've been on here, I'll refrain from mentioning the title, at this time. However, I will be including it in my list of resources later. With my New Agey friends, it never matters what the 'religious background' or source is for any spiritual wisdom and inspiration - it's all one in the book of life.
I had opened this small book on spiritual healing, from time to time, but nothing really grabbed me, until the other night. It sits in my nightstand, along with a few other 'special books.' A friend in Ireland had sent me this text, along with one written by Norman Vincent Peale. I do admit I can get overly paranoid, sometimes. When I received these readings in the mail, my suspicions went into high gear, as I didn't know who they were from. Ironically, the subtitle of this particular book is: 'Surrendering Self-Centred Delusions in the Costly Journey of Faith.' How apt.
[Edit: Actually, I believe a lot of tampering has gone on in my home, so please let me not mislead anyone here. Yet, if what I've been saying is true, then it's also going on all over the place. Lots of folks are getting onboard with this supposed new 'moral agenda' and the controlling imperative of a privileged few. Far be it for me to get in the way of such a grand vision - which has nevertheless been built upon many of my ideas, experiences, insights, interests, and so on, and will continue to oppress and exploit many innocent people for years to come. But that's how things are. I should take responsibility: I deserve all the sh*t I've been through. Basic civil rights, human dignity, democracy, and freedom should be undermined - by all means possible. Us independent types might upset or usurp the status quo. You never know.]
Getting Clear
I went back to work today (technically, yesterday), after a week-and-a-half of rest. This has been an important time for me. I've learned so much, and I've done a lot of personal healing. Before I hurried off (on the verge of being late, as always), I was looking at my weblog, and I suddenly realized what a massive f*cking EGO I have. I mean, who the heck do I think I am?? Is it realistic for me to think I can take on the nation, or even the world?! Geez, I'm an idiot.
Focus is something I've always struggled with - big time. Yet I've been having this trait continually modelled for me. In one of the most epiphanic times of my life, I've had to consider my priorities and take a good hard look at myself: who am I, where am I going, what do I want, and so on. It's been an interesting week or so.
Part of the problem is, I do feel a responsibility towards others, and to a greater cause. I also want to make sure that everyone is safe. Yet, perhaps, I lack practical foundation - or I don't go about it in the right way. My stubborn ego and huge pride often seem to get in the way.
Regardless, I've decided to direct myself and my efforts in more positive ways, which I had said that I would do in an earlier post. Yet, I needed to allow myself time to fully integrate where my thoughts and feelings were going, mixed up as they are with my current layers of personal trauma and stored-up bodily emotions. It's been a very long and arduous journey - and hey, I'm only human, after all.
Still, for those of you who may consider my current situation quite hopeless, I myself know that there are many safeguards. Among other things, I take comfort in the fact that one of our oldest family friends is a court judge of the highest order. I've also taken many precautionary steps, and I have more than enough evidence to prove my circumstances. The question is how to do so peacably and amicably.
I hope you all have yourselves a wonderful day!
-----------------
Notes:
One thing that I've always found helpful in finding personal balance is getting together with people in intentional groups, and engaging in participatory learning:
Given how political I've been on here, I'll refrain from mentioning the title, at this time. However, I will be including it in my list of resources later. With my New Agey friends, it never matters what the 'religious background' or source is for any spiritual wisdom and inspiration - it's all one in the book of life.
I had opened this small book on spiritual healing, from time to time, but nothing really grabbed me, until the other night. It sits in my nightstand, along with a few other 'special books.' A friend in Ireland had sent me this text, along with one written by Norman Vincent Peale. I do admit I can get overly paranoid, sometimes. When I received these readings in the mail, my suspicions went into high gear, as I didn't know who they were from. Ironically, the subtitle of this particular book is: 'Surrendering Self-Centred Delusions in the Costly Journey of Faith.' How apt.
[Edit: Actually, I believe a lot of tampering has gone on in my home, so please let me not mislead anyone here. Yet, if what I've been saying is true, then it's also going on all over the place. Lots of folks are getting onboard with this supposed new 'moral agenda' and the controlling imperative of a privileged few. Far be it for me to get in the way of such a grand vision - which has nevertheless been built upon many of my ideas, experiences, insights, interests, and so on, and will continue to oppress and exploit many innocent people for years to come. But that's how things are. I should take responsibility: I deserve all the sh*t I've been through. Basic civil rights, human dignity, democracy, and freedom should be undermined - by all means possible. Us independent types might upset or usurp the status quo. You never know.]
Getting Clear
I went back to work today (technically, yesterday), after a week-and-a-half of rest. This has been an important time for me. I've learned so much, and I've done a lot of personal healing. Before I hurried off (on the verge of being late, as always), I was looking at my weblog, and I suddenly realized what a massive f*cking EGO I have. I mean, who the heck do I think I am?? Is it realistic for me to think I can take on the nation, or even the world?! Geez, I'm an idiot.
Focus is something I've always struggled with - big time. Yet I've been having this trait continually modelled for me. In one of the most epiphanic times of my life, I've had to consider my priorities and take a good hard look at myself: who am I, where am I going, what do I want, and so on. It's been an interesting week or so.
Part of the problem is, I do feel a responsibility towards others, and to a greater cause. I also want to make sure that everyone is safe. Yet, perhaps, I lack practical foundation - or I don't go about it in the right way. My stubborn ego and huge pride often seem to get in the way.
Regardless, I've decided to direct myself and my efforts in more positive ways, which I had said that I would do in an earlier post. Yet, I needed to allow myself time to fully integrate where my thoughts and feelings were going, mixed up as they are with my current layers of personal trauma and stored-up bodily emotions. It's been a very long and arduous journey - and hey, I'm only human, after all.
Still, for those of you who may consider my current situation quite hopeless, I myself know that there are many safeguards. Among other things, I take comfort in the fact that one of our oldest family friends is a court judge of the highest order. I've also taken many precautionary steps, and I have more than enough evidence to prove my circumstances. The question is how to do so peacably and amicably.
I hope you all have yourselves a wonderful day!
-----------------
Notes:
One thing that I've always found helpful in finding personal balance is getting together with people in intentional groups, and engaging in participatory learning:
posted by outside the box... at
12:26 AM
1 Comments:
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Greg Prosmushkin, at 3:02 PM
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