Vacation time for my ego and I
Don't know if you've noticed, but my blogposts have been a bit 'jangly' and offcentred for the past while (ie, beyond my usual neurotic, carping ways). I've been feeling pretty over-the-top. As of today, I'm taking a short vacation from this weblog.
Someone also recently comunicated something to me, which is quite true: I have an addiction. I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol - but I am addicted to finding constant *highs* to keep me from feeling my own inner pain. I'm hooked on praise and feeling special; I'm obsessed with 'success' and creating tangible outcomes (despite my clear lack of these, for such a long time); I love being at the centre of my own dramas; and, like an addict, I have great difficulty in maintaining any meaningful or lasting relationships with people. I'm too wired out. I'm preoccupied with myself and my needs. That darn ego - you gotta love it!
Despite my best intentions, I often have a knack for making a splash and impacting people, be it positively or negatively. Yet, it's been mostly negative effects I've been having on people, for the past many years. I need to be more honest with myself about this fact and take some responsibility. It all saddens me deeply. I think it's the resulting pain, grief, loneliness, and wretchedness from all the after-shocks, which I perhaps need to be with for awhile. May I be forgiven by some higher power.
I thank you all for reading along. I hope we may share many more wild discoveries together soon. I may even try something insanely novel and new for me, like actually finishing writing and editing an entry before I post it on here. Imagine that.
PS - For the record, I don't enjoy writing, and I've often struggled to form coherent thoughts on here. Thank you for putting up with all my long-winded rants, repetitiveness, sarcasm, personal quirks, and what-have-you. I appreciate it.
[Edit: I may be editing this blog intermittently, until things sit right with me. 07/29]
Someone also recently comunicated something to me, which is quite true: I have an addiction. I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol - but I am addicted to finding constant *highs* to keep me from feeling my own inner pain. I'm hooked on praise and feeling special; I'm obsessed with 'success' and creating tangible outcomes (despite my clear lack of these, for such a long time); I love being at the centre of my own dramas; and, like an addict, I have great difficulty in maintaining any meaningful or lasting relationships with people. I'm too wired out. I'm preoccupied with myself and my needs. That darn ego - you gotta love it!
Despite my best intentions, I often have a knack for making a splash and impacting people, be it positively or negatively. Yet, it's been mostly negative effects I've been having on people, for the past many years. I need to be more honest with myself about this fact and take some responsibility. It all saddens me deeply. I think it's the resulting pain, grief, loneliness, and wretchedness from all the after-shocks, which I perhaps need to be with for awhile. May I be forgiven by some higher power.
I thank you all for reading along. I hope we may share many more wild discoveries together soon. I may even try something insanely novel and new for me, like actually finishing writing and editing an entry before I post it on here. Imagine that.
PS - For the record, I don't enjoy writing, and I've often struggled to form coherent thoughts on here. Thank you for putting up with all my long-winded rants, repetitiveness, sarcasm, personal quirks, and what-have-you. I appreciate it.
[Edit: I may be editing this blog intermittently, until things sit right with me. 07/29]
posted by outside the box... at
8:11 PM
1 Comments:
its like you have lots of ideas , id like to know if you can give advices to teen love problems and sad love stories they are posting in my website ?
yes there are so many teens needing advice for their love problems.
sad love story
By
Anonymous, at 6:18 PM
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