Personal, universal integrity

(I'm reposting this blogpost because of an unwelcome comment left in my previous entry. It's important to set limits and boundaries for oneself. I am choosing peace.)

For those who are new to this weblog, below are highlights of the ideas, values, and goals that made me an interesting subject for intelligence agencies.

When I was claiming to be emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually unwell (and having looked for many cures and solutions), no one believed me. To everyone else, I seemed perfectly 'normal' and sane. Yet, the depths of my pain, anger, despair, and ultimate madness manifested in many other ways.

As I struggle to balance the different sides of myself and how I've become, my personal learning, sensitive nature, socializations, internalized oppressions, various experiences, intense moments, the painful discovery of Big Brother's inhumane ways, and so on, are all surfacing in one great big jumble. As a result of my chaotic journey, I've done a serious disservice to many people, particularly to switched-on activists and people of colour in my recent posts and interpersonal connections.

I also minimize complex issues on here; yet I don't feel inclined to explore these myriad topics. However, they are tied into how and why my surveillance situation has turned into such a widespread phenomena. Illegal public and private surveillance is something that should be questioned by all: there need to be check systems and legislative controls in place.

Please help raise some awareness, folks. Talk about it, write about it, and get people thinking!


Freedom Lost

Something inside me yearns for freedom - perhaps too much so. This excerpt from the 'Afterword' in The Colonizer and The Colonized by Albert Memmi (somewhat dated, yet highly educational) resonates closely with my own views; hence, my sense of urgency [1] :

[Jean-Paul] Sartre and [Albert] Memmi shared the experience of growing to maturity in the age of empire, of surviving the fury of the war years, and of suddenly finding themselves on the other side, with all the old rules in disarray. Neither had lost faith in human goodness, and both wanted to create new forms of social organization that would allow for the rekindling of the human spirit. They saw in the end of colonialism the promise that a more rational moment was at hand, in which, as Memmi says, people would be 'whole and free.' [snip; emphasis added]

Susan Gilson Miller
Cambridge, Massachusetts
September 1990

I had a similar vision. Mine is quite practicable, as it contains key elements of human survival and development, such as: personal growth, health, education, economic self-sufficiency, community development, environmental stewardship, information management, and so on. I also believe in ACTION LEARNING. [2]

One of my many 'crimes' has been to try and bridge social, environmental, political, and economic reforms - while calling for honest stewardship. I have also strongly encouraged the use of innovative organizational change methods among the Left. [3] Big Brother has co-opted my interests and social marketing approaches, in order to form an even more powerful capitalist structure.

Co-operatives are a great remedy for many of society's problems. [4] Co-operatives also provide an empowering counterbalance to capitalism and corporate-controlled globalization. [5]

Holistic ways of learning and creating change are important, too. Some of my views on education are reflected in this book summary: Spirituality and education: A conceptual analysis by Parker J. Palmer, David E. Purpel, John P. Miller. Or read 'Integral Life, Integral Teacher' by Sarah Ruth van Gelder.


My Weak Self

One of my major shortcomings is self-betrayal. By being in constant fear, and allowing myself to take on all sorts of social negativity, I disrespected myself. I've been raging and reeling with pain and emotional reactiveness ever since. This has caused me to continuously betray both myself and others - on a personal and universal level. My endless betrayals sadden and frustrate me - yet even my grief is inhibited. Deep sorrow starts to well up, yet my mind and body somehow shut it out.

(Note: I removed one word from this blog for a day, as I felt I may have been overly proud in using it. I had recently read something by one of my heroes that inspired me to put aside my ego even more. Thank you, always.)

I struggle in my quest to be a happy, contented person - in solidarity with other people and various causes - while still endeavouring to make positive, practicable, and sustainable changes in this world. Maybe that's me being egotistical...I guess real change begins within.


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Notes:


[1] 'Progressive politics' are purposely being used to stir up social divisions and chaos, which results in more Divide and Conquer realities. (I've been a test-case model.) Please know that all areas of society -- particularly progressive groups and critical academic thought and research -- are being watched and influenced, with the help of surveillance technologies. The freedom to think, question, be critical, express dissent, take action, or be otherwise different is changing. See 'What is Fascism?'


[2] Action learning and other innovative approaches are often more readily taken up by the corporate world, where there's often less stagnancy and greater pressure to *perform*. See Partners for Learning and a corporate-based action learning consultancy to get an idea. Yet, action learning and action research originated in the non-profit, social development sector. Paulo Freire, Kurt Lewin, Donald Schon, and many others were key thinkers; I gravitate towards Parker Palmer's work. Also see 'Theories of learning' and 'NRM_changelinks.' I'll be posting more links, later. Many community groups, activists, and those in socio-environmental development are resistant to change and innovation: they're too overburdened, underfunded, and rightfully suspicious to embrace anything new. Co-ops and co-operatives may help to bridge and alleviate economic gaps, while reclaiming public input and control around social-environmental issues.


[3] A good book on organizational change is: Learning Works: Searching for Organizational Futures. Eds. Susan Wright and David Morley. Toronto: ABL Publications (1989). Probably only available in university bookstores.


[4] Empowerment Illustrated is an interesting weblog.


[5] To me, the joy of living by one's personal ethics, while being democratically in control of one's socio-economic welfare, accountable to one's local community, and responsible for one's surroundings, makes good sense.

Here's general info about co-operatives and some examples:

• 'Statement on the Co-operative Identity'
  
  
• Cooperative Peace by James Peter Warbasse (worth a read)
  
  
• Join Rabble.ca's discussion thread: 'Co-operatives in Canada and the world.'
  
  
• 'Women in Co-operatives in Canada: An Overview'
  
  
• 'Co-op America: Economic Action for a Just Planet'