More peevish musings from a drama queen
Sorry for the hiatus. Lots of stuff to contend with right now, particularly on a more practical level (ie, meeting obligations, keeping body and soul together, and so on). More on all that to come.
Since my claims about surveillance have far-reaching implications, I hope people can appreciate how hard and risky it is to gather information, and try to present it in an intelligible way - especially when I'm dealing with multiple stresses, and I feel like I'm under constant threat. (While this latter claim may appear minute or even non-existent to others, it certainly doesn't feel that way to me.)
I'm also burned out from continually trying to counter people's preconceived notions about me, and why I'm in this ridiculous situation - even when I'm writing in my own weblog. This can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.
Well, surprise, I'd like to clarify a few more things from my recent blogposts. But I'm honestly getting tired of these neurotic explanations, so please don't expect me to compulsively share so many personal details about myself and my family in future.
Anyway, here goes...
Almost my entire extended family is university educated, right up to my late grandfather's generation. My grandfather was born in 1909; he and all his siblings, both male and female, had completed their post-secondary studies. My mother and her siblings (with the exception of my mentally-handicapped uncle), and all my cousins (with the exception of one, who was just too smart for the drudgery of school) have degrees of some sort (BA, MA, PhD).
Note: I'm not mentioning all this as a 'status thing,' although I am proud of my family's achievements. I'm just trying to give you a sense of how my family and I are located. Personally, I believe intelligence comes in many forms, and I feel school often stifles people's interests, aptitudes, and overall development. My own sense of scholastic incompetency dates back to 1982. As a result, I've become interested in holistic education and self-learning.
With the exception of a once-estranged and now deceased grandfather, none of my family owns and operates their own business, although one relative is part of a joint consultancy as a graphic designer. We are not big into finance or economics.
Ironically, my mother is the only one with financial designations, yet she is truly an example of someone who is book-smart, but not street-wise. [1] Having graduated as an actuary, she found the work didn't suit her all that well. [2] Her strengths in math and studying for exams led her to take various other courses (eg, FLMI). Yet, intellectual know-how does not always equal practical application.
In 'Calling all psychos!,' I almost made it sound like my mother plays the stock market, and thus, got herself into debt; yet, she never has. She has invested in mutual funds, however, and lost money. When I say my mother is struggling financially, this has a lot to do with her trust in other people, her susceptibility to pressure sales people (eg, selling her house in one day), my unemployment and ongoing surveillance situation, and her willingness to support me until her last dime.
Overall, my extended family is typically lower-middle to upper-middle class. As I've said, they're mostly university-educated professionals, with me being the main exception (read, unemployed good-for-nothing). They're a pretty decent bunch, without being boring or humdrum. Two of my more artistic relatives ended up in New York.
By the way, that $3000 car repair I mentioned had been done on my relative's car? It turned out to be $4200. The entire internal chassis of the car somehow came loose. Sounds pretty unlikely to me, but what do I know. This particular relative is quite talented, and has been in the public eye, plus this person has had some political involvement.
(Note: Holy sh*t! I mulled over whether to write the sentence, above, for a good 20 minutes. When I finally started typing it out, someone just kicked the glass bottles I'd placed outside my apartment door, earlier this evening, and startled me. [3] It's 3:45am. Speaking of sh*t, earlier today, I found cat sh*t on my door mat. Other info to come.)
I commend people for being skeptical and independent, critical thinkers. I'm glad people don't just take my word for the crazy ideas and theories I spout on here. Yet, to help reduce my overanxious and defensive rants about economics in future, I really hope people may apply their analytical abilities in a way that synthesizes the truth in a more holistic and realistic fashion.
Empires are often created and manage to survive through unscrupulous means. Big Brother *does* play an active role in the technological and corporate monopolies currently being built. And, finally, social empowerment is a major issue. Mumia Abu-Jamal and Leonard Pelletier are classic examples of what I mean, but I'm sorry, I don't have time to explore their cases further. [4] Please do your own research.
I know that I am who I say I am. While the onus is certainly on me to prove my claims about government surveillance, if I have to keep on defending or explaining myself, purely because of people's negative stereotypes and entrenched social perceptions, then you'll just see more bitterness and antagonism being dragged out here, and you'll never get to hear the real scoop on how pervasive (and deadly) illegal surveillance is becoming in Canada, and how civil rights are going right down the tubes.
(Civil rights, what's that?!? Gosh, I think this concept is actually disappearing from our collective consciousness.)
I can definitely show that I've been an ongoing target for threats and harassment for several years, and that many institutional forces appear to be involved. My only 'crime' has been to express my opinions vigorously and to push for change, while admittedly being critical, antagonistic, combative, and emotionally unstable. So bite me, I was reeling from sensory overload and emotional distress.
Regardless of how undiplomatic I may be (and George Brown could be accused of the same problem), it would be a real blow to Canada's credibility as a nation, if security bodies are actively undermining public power and co-opting Toronto's many different communities (queer, ethnic, academic, etc), as well as strategically supporting certain corporations and industries, as part of a covert quest for global power and control.
Note: George Brown springs to mind for several reasons. One is that I've noticed my mom's students frequently seem to study certain topics and books that correspond closely with my overall situation; this happens at very specific times. I've never really thought about Canada's state of democracy in terms of, say, ethnic background. Yet, I can see now why there may be such a strong drive to undermine people, like myself, who espouse such liberal values: it might actually open the door to greater public participation (oh, no!). It'd also explain why certain prominent or influential people, particularly women of colour (those who aren't moles), seem to be increasingly targetted or co-opted by intelligence agencies.
---------
[1] My mother shares the same birthday as René Descartes. Unfortunately, her own philosophical bent and abiding interest in understanding the Big Picture has been reduced to constantly analyzing how to make ends meet. She has been much changed by both my unwellness and my ongoing claims of surveillance these past four years.
[2] 'Actuary: A social mathematician who uses mathematical skills to define, analyze and solve complex business and social problems involving insurance and employee benefit programs.' [Source.]
(Note: I chose the definition above because I think it may help explain my own ways of looking at the world. Corporate moguls and intelligence agencies have found it exceedingly easy to appropriate my ideas or approaches. While I'm not all that brilliant or unique, I do have some interesting notions, and have researched actual strategies that could have helped the general public - and particularly, activists and left-leaning types. Too bad my urgent calls for action continually fell on deaf ears.)
[3] This is the second time I've had a strange incident occur, immediately after packing up part of my home bar. See 'My home bar' (Oct. 8, 2005). Seems like my whole bartending adventure has become symbolic for taking me down as a person. In reading my surveillance and harassment stories, you may also notice some correspondence between what I'm suggesting is going on and bold new changes and upcoming trends in the agriculture, retail food, and hospitality industries - now and in the future.
[4] The most holistic conference I ever attended was the International Conference on Penal Abolition (ICOPA), which was held at Ryerson University in 2000. I mean that in every sense. I've been to Holistic Learning workshops and a Transformative Learning Conference, yet these tend to be more specialized.
Since my claims about surveillance have far-reaching implications, I hope people can appreciate how hard and risky it is to gather information, and try to present it in an intelligible way - especially when I'm dealing with multiple stresses, and I feel like I'm under constant threat. (While this latter claim may appear minute or even non-existent to others, it certainly doesn't feel that way to me.)
I'm also burned out from continually trying to counter people's preconceived notions about me, and why I'm in this ridiculous situation - even when I'm writing in my own weblog. This can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.
Well, surprise, I'd like to clarify a few more things from my recent blogposts. But I'm honestly getting tired of these neurotic explanations, so please don't expect me to compulsively share so many personal details about myself and my family in future.
Anyway, here goes...
Almost my entire extended family is university educated, right up to my late grandfather's generation. My grandfather was born in 1909; he and all his siblings, both male and female, had completed their post-secondary studies. My mother and her siblings (with the exception of my mentally-handicapped uncle), and all my cousins (with the exception of one, who was just too smart for the drudgery of school) have degrees of some sort (BA, MA, PhD).
Note: I'm not mentioning all this as a 'status thing,' although I am proud of my family's achievements. I'm just trying to give you a sense of how my family and I are located. Personally, I believe intelligence comes in many forms, and I feel school often stifles people's interests, aptitudes, and overall development. My own sense of scholastic incompetency dates back to 1982. As a result, I've become interested in holistic education and self-learning.
With the exception of a once-estranged and now deceased grandfather, none of my family owns and operates their own business, although one relative is part of a joint consultancy as a graphic designer. We are not big into finance or economics.
Ironically, my mother is the only one with financial designations, yet she is truly an example of someone who is book-smart, but not street-wise. [1] Having graduated as an actuary, she found the work didn't suit her all that well. [2] Her strengths in math and studying for exams led her to take various other courses (eg, FLMI). Yet, intellectual know-how does not always equal practical application.
In 'Calling all psychos!,' I almost made it sound like my mother plays the stock market, and thus, got herself into debt; yet, she never has. She has invested in mutual funds, however, and lost money. When I say my mother is struggling financially, this has a lot to do with her trust in other people, her susceptibility to pressure sales people (eg, selling her house in one day), my unemployment and ongoing surveillance situation, and her willingness to support me until her last dime.
Overall, my extended family is typically lower-middle to upper-middle class. As I've said, they're mostly university-educated professionals, with me being the main exception (read, unemployed good-for-nothing). They're a pretty decent bunch, without being boring or humdrum. Two of my more artistic relatives ended up in New York.
By the way, that $3000 car repair I mentioned had been done on my relative's car? It turned out to be $4200. The entire internal chassis of the car somehow came loose. Sounds pretty unlikely to me, but what do I know. This particular relative is quite talented, and has been in the public eye, plus this person has had some political involvement.
(Note: Holy sh*t! I mulled over whether to write the sentence, above, for a good 20 minutes. When I finally started typing it out, someone just kicked the glass bottles I'd placed outside my apartment door, earlier this evening, and startled me. [3] It's 3:45am. Speaking of sh*t, earlier today, I found cat sh*t on my door mat. Other info to come.)
I commend people for being skeptical and independent, critical thinkers. I'm glad people don't just take my word for the crazy ideas and theories I spout on here. Yet, to help reduce my overanxious and defensive rants about economics in future, I really hope people may apply their analytical abilities in a way that synthesizes the truth in a more holistic and realistic fashion.
Empires are often created and manage to survive through unscrupulous means. Big Brother *does* play an active role in the technological and corporate monopolies currently being built. And, finally, social empowerment is a major issue. Mumia Abu-Jamal and Leonard Pelletier are classic examples of what I mean, but I'm sorry, I don't have time to explore their cases further. [4] Please do your own research.
I know that I am who I say I am. While the onus is certainly on me to prove my claims about government surveillance, if I have to keep on defending or explaining myself, purely because of people's negative stereotypes and entrenched social perceptions, then you'll just see more bitterness and antagonism being dragged out here, and you'll never get to hear the real scoop on how pervasive (and deadly) illegal surveillance is becoming in Canada, and how civil rights are going right down the tubes.
(Civil rights, what's that?!? Gosh, I think this concept is actually disappearing from our collective consciousness.)
I can definitely show that I've been an ongoing target for threats and harassment for several years, and that many institutional forces appear to be involved. My only 'crime' has been to express my opinions vigorously and to push for change, while admittedly being critical, antagonistic, combative, and emotionally unstable. So bite me, I was reeling from sensory overload and emotional distress.
Regardless of how undiplomatic I may be (and George Brown could be accused of the same problem), it would be a real blow to Canada's credibility as a nation, if security bodies are actively undermining public power and co-opting Toronto's many different communities (queer, ethnic, academic, etc), as well as strategically supporting certain corporations and industries, as part of a covert quest for global power and control.
Note: George Brown springs to mind for several reasons. One is that I've noticed my mom's students frequently seem to study certain topics and books that correspond closely with my overall situation; this happens at very specific times. I've never really thought about Canada's state of democracy in terms of, say, ethnic background. Yet, I can see now why there may be such a strong drive to undermine people, like myself, who espouse such liberal values: it might actually open the door to greater public participation (oh, no!). It'd also explain why certain prominent or influential people, particularly women of colour (those who aren't moles), seem to be increasingly targetted or co-opted by intelligence agencies.
---------
[1] My mother shares the same birthday as René Descartes. Unfortunately, her own philosophical bent and abiding interest in understanding the Big Picture has been reduced to constantly analyzing how to make ends meet. She has been much changed by both my unwellness and my ongoing claims of surveillance these past four years.
[2] 'Actuary: A social mathematician who uses mathematical skills to define, analyze and solve complex business and social problems involving insurance and employee benefit programs.' [Source.]
(Note: I chose the definition above because I think it may help explain my own ways of looking at the world. Corporate moguls and intelligence agencies have found it exceedingly easy to appropriate my ideas or approaches. While I'm not all that brilliant or unique, I do have some interesting notions, and have researched actual strategies that could have helped the general public - and particularly, activists and left-leaning types. Too bad my urgent calls for action continually fell on deaf ears.)
[3] This is the second time I've had a strange incident occur, immediately after packing up part of my home bar. See 'My home bar' (Oct. 8, 2005). Seems like my whole bartending adventure has become symbolic for taking me down as a person. In reading my surveillance and harassment stories, you may also notice some correspondence between what I'm suggesting is going on and bold new changes and upcoming trends in the agriculture, retail food, and hospitality industries - now and in the future.
[4] The most holistic conference I ever attended was the International Conference on Penal Abolition (ICOPA), which was held at Ryerson University in 2000. I mean that in every sense. I've been to Holistic Learning workshops and a Transformative Learning Conference, yet these tend to be more specialized.
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