The power of language
Shortly after the September 11 attacks in 2001, I met a guy 'by chance' at a payphone. He initiated conversation; I responded.
We met 'by chance' again at the same phone booth - even though there's one much closer to his building. We chatted. I figured he was just friendly and outgoing. He began to cross my path quite often - sometimes at odd times.
This guy, let's call him Jack, invited me to his rooming house a few times to play Scrabble, listen to music, and hang out. He emphasized similarities in our respective situations (we had both travelled and worked abroad for some time, were now unemployed, had similar interests, were fairly isolated, and so on). It was a strange connection.
Note: My 'fugitive on the run' mode kicked in during this period. I'd been collecting alternative news articles about the 9-11 attacks, and would photocopy and distribute these to people. I kept my bag closely guarded. Over time, however, I was no longer protecting the 9-11 materials, but instead, my notes about surveillance and harassment.
He's A Walking Encyclopedia
What struck me about Jack is how much he knows about history and war. Having travelled extensively through many countries, most of them having sizable Muslim populations (too many to recall, but places like Turkey and surrounding area, all Northern Africa, Eastern Europe, etc), he knows a LOT.
Jack is hefty and tough - he looks like an ex-army guy, strong, grizzled beard, always wears black, sometimes khakis. His behaviour towards me was threatening, at times (eg, loudly clapping his hands in my face to startle me; or saying how nice it is to 'mush brains,' right after I spoke to cops about a possible stalker following me - long story). I increasingly felt he and I were playing a cat-and-mouse game of implying that surveillance is happening to me, and that he's part of it, yet we never openly acknowledged this. Talk about subtext.
I appreciated Jack's profound intelligence, yet I partly kept in contact to find out what was going on. I felt I was under surveillance and being harassed, but had no concrete proof. Nor had I any idea who was doing these things, and worse, no one believed me.
Jack claimed to be an orphan, but revised this information later, telling me his father had been in the 'Signal Corps of the military,' as a 'communications specialist.' Interesting.
Like myself, he apparently had become alienated from his family. I kept notes about our interactions, and even saved three phone messages*. Yet, the most important one mysteriously disappeared from my voicemail box (March 2002). Messages sometimes disappear from my email boxes (examples to come).
*Note: I didn't give Jack my number initially, only after I realized he already knew so much about me.
(Interestingly, Bell accidentally disconnected my voicemail service once, when I was adding a new service (July 2003). I lost 22 saved messages, including Jack's. What's ironic (strange, downright weird?) is that I had been telling the customer service rep about the crank calls, saved messages, etc. She knew how important my voicemail box was. There were other anomalies in our conversation. I wrote a lengthy email about this incident last August. Read other phone stuff here, here, and here.)
Power and Mind Games
When I say Jack knew things about me, I don't mean he was insightful about how I am. At one point, I believed I was being stalked and called the police twice from payphones - once from a donut shop, and once from a cyber cafe. Note: I have never called the police before in my life.
Guess who shows up five minutes later, both times? 'Oh, I just happened to be taking a walk and saw you in here.' Uhh, okay. It was almost midnight, I was at a cybercafe, I wasn't sitting near the door, and was partly blocked by computers, so it's unlikely he'd see me (pics to come).
I also had private conversations with people in their homes. Yet, the next time I'd see Jack, he'd repeat almost word-for-word a topic or a snippet of what had been said. He'd subtly slip these comments into our conversation. Once, I even went back and asked a friend for more details about an incident they'd mentioned: it matched the information Jack had described exactly. Sorry to be vague here.
Linguistics
In conversation with Jack, I gained insight into many different things, including why English language usage and development is so prevalent in the world today. Jack has a strong knowledge of English etymology. (Although we talked about various things, inter-cultural politics came up a lot.)
I wondered why English has become the international language of business and education. He said, compared to languages of other successful colonizers, English is easy to command people with.
Colonization is a simple fact of history and exists within every culture and across cultures. For me, it's helpful to understand these things holistically, and to acknowledge both positive and negative aspects.
Everybody seeks some kind of power, in their own way. As I got older, I noticed contradictions between my efforts towards a greater social good, and my own innate desire for quality and improvements. I still struggle to understand and reconcile my dual drives for equality and elitism. Not easy. I now believe hierarchies are natural and necessary. Yet, finding balance is difficult. (More discussion to come.)
Note: English is an amazing language. Not only is it versatile and inclusive, but many words even come from other cultures (eg, French, Hindi, Greek, and so on).
Diversity...Rocks the Boat
Jack's almost encyclopedic knowledge about world affairs was both fascinating and frightening; I remained leery of him.
(Having said that, I did try to help him find a better place to live from listserv postings. I wanted to believe he was a friend. But more than that, I truly wished him well.)
Assuming I was/am under surveillance, it'd be easy for people to see contrasts in how I dealt with Jack, and how I used to be with most people (ie, too open and friendly). The more fearful I became, the more I cleaved onto people who seemed safe and reassuring. It's the ultimate 'Good Cop/Bad Cop' situation. I've since noticed many 'Good Cop/Bad Cop' scenarios springing up - particularly in the past year, and on an increasingly public scale. (info to come) The 'War on Terrorism' is, of course, the ultimate example.
Being an overly communicative person, and far too self-disclosing, I believe it's possible the government may have enhanced their techniques for getting around skeptics, activists, and just about anybody, simply by observing both my social ineptness, and my endless efforts at being believed by other people. (The latter began after my downhill slide into depression.)
The government learned so much about multicultural dynamics through my neurotic and contentious behaviours. While they undoubtedly have had 'inside people' in different ethnic communities all along, I was coming from a different space. Being interested in people of all different backgrounds and persuasions, yet also being emotionally unwell and generally undiplomatic, I sometimes leave a trail of social dissensions behind me. It's my one talent in life, I suppose.
I've also worked in a variety of restaurants offering different ethnic cuisines. These diverse work environments presented many opportunities to study how people responded to me, and sometimes gossiped about me, as I inevitably ticked people off (co-workers and customers).
So, my claiming the government is surveilling me, and actively fostering connections within and across different ethnic communities, may sound like 'conspiracy theory.' Yet, given my unique circumstances, it's not unlikely. For one thing, collecting and distributing alternative news articles about the 9-11 attacks is considered dangerously subversive nowadays.
Suggesting that my computer and internet activities are being tapped is also not earth-shattering news. But what people find impossible to believe is that the government may have enhanced their strategic emailing skills, and are actively penetrating, influencing, and controlling both community groups and listserv politics with the help of electronic eavesdropping, and other forms of surveillance.**
**Note: I first noticed email anomalies on a listserv in 2000; more blatant email activities began this past year.
Intriguing Questions
Wouldn't it be useful to know how to play people off one another, in order to create strategic rifts, social polarizations, and group divisiveness?
Or conversely, wouldn't it be handy to learn how to send emails to rally people around an issue, promote certain causes, build-up a response, and influence opinions, decisions, and activities?
To governments and elites, that is real power.
Why Me?
1) News reports confirm that emails are being increasingly tapped and data mined in Canada, the US, and worldwide. (See this post. Also read about Echelon.)
2) I was once threatened with an investigation. Also, being a prolific emailer, who is critical and outspoken, and embraces many progressive social values, chances are likely my emails would be tapped.
3) If my emails are studied, much could be learned about: a) my thoughts about socio-environmental innovation and change, b) my obsession with communications and outreach, c) the impact, both negative and positive, that emails can have on people and groups, d) how people respond, e) long-term results, and so on.
4) Given such information and power, isn't it likely the government would apply such knowledge towards their own ends??
- Governments do not embrace citizen-activists. If they could shut people up, or turn them away from a cause, simply by manipulating an email listserv, what a useful strategy that would be. (Except if the seeming activists or social leaders are their own plants.)
Language is a powerful tool. With growing gaps between rich and power, dropping literacy rates, and general educational decline, public input and participation are shrinking by the day.
We met 'by chance' again at the same phone booth - even though there's one much closer to his building. We chatted. I figured he was just friendly and outgoing. He began to cross my path quite often - sometimes at odd times.
This guy, let's call him Jack, invited me to his rooming house a few times to play Scrabble, listen to music, and hang out. He emphasized similarities in our respective situations (we had both travelled and worked abroad for some time, were now unemployed, had similar interests, were fairly isolated, and so on). It was a strange connection.
Note: My 'fugitive on the run' mode kicked in during this period. I'd been collecting alternative news articles about the 9-11 attacks, and would photocopy and distribute these to people. I kept my bag closely guarded. Over time, however, I was no longer protecting the 9-11 materials, but instead, my notes about surveillance and harassment.
He's A Walking Encyclopedia
What struck me about Jack is how much he knows about history and war. Having travelled extensively through many countries, most of them having sizable Muslim populations (too many to recall, but places like Turkey and surrounding area, all Northern Africa, Eastern Europe, etc), he knows a LOT.
Jack is hefty and tough - he looks like an ex-army guy, strong, grizzled beard, always wears black, sometimes khakis. His behaviour towards me was threatening, at times (eg, loudly clapping his hands in my face to startle me; or saying how nice it is to 'mush brains,' right after I spoke to cops about a possible stalker following me - long story). I increasingly felt he and I were playing a cat-and-mouse game of implying that surveillance is happening to me, and that he's part of it, yet we never openly acknowledged this. Talk about subtext.
I appreciated Jack's profound intelligence, yet I partly kept in contact to find out what was going on. I felt I was under surveillance and being harassed, but had no concrete proof. Nor had I any idea who was doing these things, and worse, no one believed me.
Jack claimed to be an orphan, but revised this information later, telling me his father had been in the 'Signal Corps of the military,' as a 'communications specialist.' Interesting.
Like myself, he apparently had become alienated from his family. I kept notes about our interactions, and even saved three phone messages*. Yet, the most important one mysteriously disappeared from my voicemail box (March 2002). Messages sometimes disappear from my email boxes (examples to come).
*Note: I didn't give Jack my number initially, only after I realized he already knew so much about me.
(Interestingly, Bell accidentally disconnected my voicemail service once, when I was adding a new service (July 2003). I lost 22 saved messages, including Jack's. What's ironic (strange, downright weird?) is that I had been telling the customer service rep about the crank calls, saved messages, etc. She knew how important my voicemail box was. There were other anomalies in our conversation. I wrote a lengthy email about this incident last August. Read other phone stuff here, here, and here.)
Power and Mind Games
When I say Jack knew things about me, I don't mean he was insightful about how I am. At one point, I believed I was being stalked and called the police twice from payphones - once from a donut shop, and once from a cyber cafe. Note: I have never called the police before in my life.
Guess who shows up five minutes later, both times? 'Oh, I just happened to be taking a walk and saw you in here.' Uhh, okay. It was almost midnight, I was at a cybercafe, I wasn't sitting near the door, and was partly blocked by computers, so it's unlikely he'd see me (pics to come).
I also had private conversations with people in their homes. Yet, the next time I'd see Jack, he'd repeat almost word-for-word a topic or a snippet of what had been said. He'd subtly slip these comments into our conversation. Once, I even went back and asked a friend for more details about an incident they'd mentioned: it matched the information Jack had described exactly. Sorry to be vague here.
Linguistics
In conversation with Jack, I gained insight into many different things, including why English language usage and development is so prevalent in the world today. Jack has a strong knowledge of English etymology. (Although we talked about various things, inter-cultural politics came up a lot.)
I wondered why English has become the international language of business and education. He said, compared to languages of other successful colonizers, English is easy to command people with.
Colonization is a simple fact of history and exists within every culture and across cultures. For me, it's helpful to understand these things holistically, and to acknowledge both positive and negative aspects.
Everybody seeks some kind of power, in their own way. As I got older, I noticed contradictions between my efforts towards a greater social good, and my own innate desire for quality and improvements. I still struggle to understand and reconcile my dual drives for equality and elitism. Not easy. I now believe hierarchies are natural and necessary. Yet, finding balance is difficult. (More discussion to come.)
Note: English is an amazing language. Not only is it versatile and inclusive, but many words even come from other cultures (eg, French, Hindi, Greek, and so on).
Diversity...Rocks the Boat
Jack's almost encyclopedic knowledge about world affairs was both fascinating and frightening; I remained leery of him.
(Having said that, I did try to help him find a better place to live from listserv postings. I wanted to believe he was a friend. But more than that, I truly wished him well.)
Assuming I was/am under surveillance, it'd be easy for people to see contrasts in how I dealt with Jack, and how I used to be with most people (ie, too open and friendly). The more fearful I became, the more I cleaved onto people who seemed safe and reassuring. It's the ultimate 'Good Cop/Bad Cop' situation. I've since noticed many 'Good Cop/Bad Cop' scenarios springing up - particularly in the past year, and on an increasingly public scale. (info to come) The 'War on Terrorism' is, of course, the ultimate example.
Being an overly communicative person, and far too self-disclosing, I believe it's possible the government may have enhanced their techniques for getting around skeptics, activists, and just about anybody, simply by observing both my social ineptness, and my endless efforts at being believed by other people. (The latter began after my downhill slide into depression.)
The government learned so much about multicultural dynamics through my neurotic and contentious behaviours. While they undoubtedly have had 'inside people' in different ethnic communities all along, I was coming from a different space. Being interested in people of all different backgrounds and persuasions, yet also being emotionally unwell and generally undiplomatic, I sometimes leave a trail of social dissensions behind me. It's my one talent in life, I suppose.
I've also worked in a variety of restaurants offering different ethnic cuisines. These diverse work environments presented many opportunities to study how people responded to me, and sometimes gossiped about me, as I inevitably ticked people off (co-workers and customers).
So, my claiming the government is surveilling me, and actively fostering connections within and across different ethnic communities, may sound like 'conspiracy theory.' Yet, given my unique circumstances, it's not unlikely. For one thing, collecting and distributing alternative news articles about the 9-11 attacks is considered dangerously subversive nowadays.
Suggesting that my computer and internet activities are being tapped is also not earth-shattering news. But what people find impossible to believe is that the government may have enhanced their strategic emailing skills, and are actively penetrating, influencing, and controlling both community groups and listserv politics with the help of electronic eavesdropping, and other forms of surveillance.**
**Note: I first noticed email anomalies on a listserv in 2000; more blatant email activities began this past year.
Intriguing Questions
Wouldn't it be useful to know how to play people off one another, in order to create strategic rifts, social polarizations, and group divisiveness?
Or conversely, wouldn't it be handy to learn how to send emails to rally people around an issue, promote certain causes, build-up a response, and influence opinions, decisions, and activities?
To governments and elites, that is real power.
Why Me?
1) News reports confirm that emails are being increasingly tapped and data mined in Canada, the US, and worldwide. (See this post. Also read about Echelon.)
2) I was once threatened with an investigation. Also, being a prolific emailer, who is critical and outspoken, and embraces many progressive social values, chances are likely my emails would be tapped.
3) If my emails are studied, much could be learned about: a) my thoughts about socio-environmental innovation and change, b) my obsession with communications and outreach, c) the impact, both negative and positive, that emails can have on people and groups, d) how people respond, e) long-term results, and so on.
4) Given such information and power, isn't it likely the government would apply such knowledge towards their own ends??
- Governments do not embrace citizen-activists. If they could shut people up, or turn them away from a cause, simply by manipulating an email listserv, what a useful strategy that would be. (Except if the seeming activists or social leaders are their own plants.)
Language is a powerful tool. With growing gaps between rich and power, dropping literacy rates, and general educational decline, public input and participation are shrinking by the day.
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