I may grovel a lot, but true humility isn't one of my strong points. [1] I may also happily serve people and causes I believe in, yet unwieldy Pride still rears up in me like an untamed animal.

Recently, I've been struggling in my interactions with people, and I asked myself: 'Why must I work so hard to be believed or understood?'

Two of the answers I received came in the form of poems. Both are written by the Sufi poet Jelaluddin Rumi. [2] This is a verse from the first one:

'Be Lost in the Call'

...
Until the juice ferments a while in the cask,
it isn't wine. If you wish your heart to be bright,
you must do a little work.
...

And the second poem...

Not
Christian or Jew or
Muslim, not Hindu,
Buddhist, Sufi, or Zen.
Not any religion

Or cultural system. I am
not from the east
or the west, not
out of the ocean or up

From the ground, not
natural or ethereal, not
composed of elements at all.
I do not exist,

Am not an entity in this
world or the next,
did not descend from
Adam and Eve or any

Origin story. My place is
the placeless, a trace
of the traceless.
Neither body or soul.

I belong to the beloved,
Have seen the two
worlds as one and
that one
call to and know,

First, last, outer, inner,
only that breath breathing

Human being.


by Jelaluddin Rumi
Translation by Coleman Barks in The Illuminated Rumi.*

The world has changed in just a few short years; I footnoted it here. I was also a catalyst, to my everlasting regret. People may find all this difficult to conceive, and since no one has believed me, thus far - so be it.

My problem now is, the egotist in me is reluctant to give way to the higher callings of spirit.


*One of my dearest friends gave me the Rumi book, for which I am eternally grateful. Much love and respect.

---------

[1] Answers.com's definition of humility. Striving to be humble in many situations is good - but, overall, I think maintaining one's ego is still necessary, in order to survive in this world. We live in a rationalistic society, with many harsh realities. Deep humility, I find, is something that needs to be experienced first-hand to have any sort of impact, or to inspire lasting change. Otherwise, it's all about structures, systems, networks, cultures (work, social, etc), and mentalities.

[2] Practically speaking, I haven't always found that Sufism poems, such as Rumi's, answer all my problems. Love certainly seems to be the most enlightened human condition - and a powerful emotion - but complete surrender to it can also be devastating. Loving ecstasy leaves one vulnerable and defenseless. In certain situations, one must stay grounded and detached.