My subversive style

Maybe overanalyzing my spy-novel dramas and various hijinx is counterproductive. My living in a constant state of rebellion, anger, and terror doesn't do anyone any good - it simply makes me miserable, paranoid, combative, reactive, and so on. Even if everything I've been saying may be true, and even if I appear to be under serious threat, there's no point in letting it consume me, right?

Still, people will think I'm a delusional freak or bored loner, with way too much time on my hands, unless I'm able to support my far-out claims and concerns. [1] So, today, I'll attempt to show how my subversive style may have proven useful to Big Brother, and hence, why I haven't been an ordinary subject or target for security bodies.

First, let's review a few causal factors in my surveillance:

1. I had first come to the attention of authorities through odd circumstances (ie, passport situation).
   
   
2. I believe my extreme ways, eclectic interests, and certain unusual incidents and encounters made me increasingly interesting and useful to intelligence agencies.
   
   
3. I also believe Big Brother's study of me - and their rapidly growing power - has reached such extremes partly because I'm not your typical 'activist.'
   
   
4. My prolonged emotional unwellness (especially anger), social isolation, confrontational style, my strong focus on race, gender, class, and orientation, and the fact that I often draw upon my private-sector work experiences, have made me both a trouble-maker and a social pariah - and hence, an interesting specimen for security types.
   

Jack of All Trades

To understand why I make some rather bold and unusual accusations about mainstream media, it helps to know more about my work experiences. I'll be posting some examples of my various marketing outreach ideas, proposals, and campaigns shortly.

But first, I need to clarify a few things about myself...

I'm a bit of an oddball, and somewhat eccentric (more so than I used to be). I'm also a mass of contradictions (which makes writing this weblog damn hard). For example, I tend to rebel against whatever social setting I find myself in: if I'm with activists, I think and act conservatively; if I'm in mainstream or conservative environments, my liberal self and progressive values come forward. Don't ask me why, but I seem to enjoy playing devil's advocate.

I often confuse both myself and others with my seeming inconsistencies. [2] One example can be seen in the environmental slogan, below. Based on these pictures, one may mistakenly think I'm artistic - but I'm not. [3] I've never been considered 'artistic,' and I have no talent in this area.

I do have a pretty wide-ranging employment history, if that counts for anything. This includes working for corporations, several years ago, as well as being employed by other large organizations, through part-time work or long-ago summer jobs. These bureaucratic experiences have greatly influenced my understanding of human politics, and they helped foster an interest in creating effective social and organizational change: it's all about implementation and overall sustainability.

Note: Don't all educated, middle-class folks aspire to get 'decent jobs,' working for major companies? Unfortunately, I've never been able to last very long in large organizations, myself. I'm not good at conforming to rules and structured environments, and I didn't understand *power politics* until the past few years.


Corporate Non-Conformist

I'm essentially a communicator, with a marketing bent. When I feel strongly about something and immerse myself in it, I can sometimes help problem-solve the situation, or create something new. But, alas, my creative marketing skills cannot be called upon at will. Being far too self-indulgent, I tend to promote the things I personally believe in. Unfortunately, most private sector employers do not share my interests or goals, and the non-profit sector often shuns me. [4]

I did give it my best shot, however. I worked for a couple of large corporations, over a span of about 3-1/2 years. That's not a long time, yet my corporate work experiences have strongly impacted my understanding of the world, economic forces, social causes, the environment, and so on. Despite being a mere cog in the corporate wheel, I nevertheless strived to be politically subversive within the mainstream.


Two Cooperate in Loving Earth

One of my key interests has always been learning how to mass-market social and environmental awareness. [5] The environmental slogan, below, created by my friend Gavin and myself, is one such effort.

It probably doesn't seem like much, but this environmental ad is actually designed around a company's corporate theme. Gavin came up with the brilliant play on words. I came up with the slogan. We collaborated on the visuals, except for the second one, which is my own (this one was done after, that's why it's not in colour). Although these are just crayon drawings, one ad was eventually done up for public use.

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[1] I'll eventually post a detailed backgrounder on how this whole surveillance situation came to be.

[2] It's important to understand differences among people, in order to create a peaceful and amicable co-existence. Sometimes, it gets right down to basics, like how one thinks. The whole left vs. right-brain thinking is definitely worth considering, when any miscommunications arise. I've also found both the Myers-Briggs personality tests and the Keirsey temperament tests helpful. Here's a quick overview.

Note: I used to circulate online personality quizzes widely to friends and family. But having discovered the predatory nature of Big Brother and their data-mining ways, plus their close focus on Torontonians, Canadians, ethnic communities, and so on, I now think people are better off not accessing information that may provide too many clues to one's psychological make-up.

[3] I don't have artistic talents or technical abilities, yet based on some of my sporadic efforts, people may suspect me of sidelining as a graphic designer, while claiming to be unemployed (or low-income, penniless, in debt). Believe me, I've worked with graphic designers: any skills I may have are at kindergarten level, while they are PhD material. It would take me forever just to complete one project!

[Edit: I probably sound like a tax-evader, or something; yet I was raised with a strong and honest work ethic. Thankfully, I have all my financial records, dating back to 2001. I burned my bank books for 1999 to 2000 - they were too depressing, plus I was moving. Prior to that I was in India for a year, Toronto for a year, Asia for four years, London Ontario for four years, and once upon a time... I'll be posting some pics of my adventures here.]

[4] The constant mismatch between my interests, skills, aptitudes, and so on, makes it hard to find suitable work. And talk about a contradictory personality - it's taken me until now to figure out why I can't just 'be like everybody else' (eg, finish courses, find a job and stick with it, settle down, etc, etc).

[5] My having a strong interest in effective outreach helps shed light on why my surveillance has evolved in such an unusual way. It also plays a role in my persistent claims that conservatives - both in Canada and the U.S. - are rapidly co-opting 'the Left' and eroding public power, by using creative, daring, and 'pseudo-progressive' means. I sense authorities have been studying and emulating the various community outreach strategies used by both myself and many others - both currently and historically.)