Learning to be different

Yet another note to my former peers: I didn't mean to imply that I've gossiped about my academic experiences to others. I haven't. And I apologize for blah-blahing about this all over my blog. But how else does one reach out, in order to be understood?

The fact is, when I got hung out to dry, I was in much pain, and therefore, I avoided any mention of school whatsoever, plus I was fully occupied with other problems in my life - like government surveillance and being harassed. Believe it or not.

While I do celebrate my friends' achievements in getting their degrees, I tended to avoid the topic of education altogether. With those of my equally few friends from outside of school, I never discussed my scholastic endeavours or experiences, once I had left the programme, other than to say I got the boot.

And, for me, it's not so much about getting the degree. The following are my key concerns:

1. You can laugh at this, if you want, but I put my whole heart and self into my studies, and I continue to do so; I feel I deserve a fair chance.



2. I put in two years of time and produced a lot of 'material,' if not a lot of concrete results - I tried the best I could.
   
   
3. My mother, regretfully, subsidized my education. I feel an obligation, in this sense. While I may qualify for student loans, the very thought of all the paperwork held me back, plus I had just finished paying off a previous student loan (with help), and I didn't want to carry another one. I also thought I'd eventually find a part-time job, so I could pay for my own tuition. Hasn't happened yet.
   
   
4. I was the ultimate critical, contentious, and angry rebel; I deserve credit for that, at least.
   
   
5. Finally, I like to have a sense of accomplishment and closure. As I've often said, I'm not an overly big believer in mainstream schooling and institutional learning, so it's definitely not about getting the degree, itself - it's all the other stuff.
   

American activist Emma Goldman's wise words effectively summarize my own view of education:

Since every effort in our educational life seems to be directed toward making of the child a being foreign to itself, it must of necessity produce individuals foreign to one another, and in everlasting antagonism with each other. - Emma Goldman [Source.]