Faxes can be tampered with

Part 1: The Applicant Always Rings Twice

I got off my butt last week, and tried applying for jobs. Went to my usual trouble. Carrying my heavy backpack with me everywhere (my main records of surveillance), I shuffle to various places, taking my usual precautions: anonymizing my internet access and job sites I visit, deleting cover letters I write, and instead of using *free* resources at an employment centre, I fax from places like Kinko's. Why? To try and deter illegal eavesdropping, or even non-delivery, of my faxes. But I don't think it makes any difference.

I'll explain later the many ways that one's computer files can get read. I'm not exactly sure how, or when, it's happening; I just know my information is never private.

What does it matter if the government eavesdrops on my faxes?

I learned from radio interviews on CKLN 88.1 FM that CSIS agents actually pretend to know the suspect in question, then, ply people for information, or cast aspersions on that person's character. I recall one case involving a Toronto Muslim man, whom I believe was arrested for being a terrorist suspect. Everything his wife described in the interview sounded so much like what I seem to be experiencing.

My point is, intelligence bodies can say anything about me, and make it appear as if I'm a wrong-doer or criminal. They might say, 'Did this applicant apply here, and try to tell you...blah, blah, blah.' Who the hell would hire me after getting a call from the authorities?

I know I'm unwell; I've botched my own share of opportunities. But, in most cases, organizations I apply to should know nothing about me, nor be prejudiced in any way by my personal interests, activities, or disposition.

Here's a recent example of fax freakiness:

I faxed five organizations last week. Yesterday, I called one place to make sure the application got there. I find out it never reached the human resources person. Strange, considering I had even called the day I faxed it in (Feb. 8), and left a message. I also have the fax confirmation slip, plus an audio recording of my call to the organization. (Am I desperate, or what?)

Now, you could say, oh, these things happen. Yes, they certainly do. And they happen to me a lot. I've been suspecting 'problems' like this for over two years. Yet, this is the first proof I have of things going astray.

There's more. Yesterday, at 1:00pm, I finally cleared space in my voicemail box, in case I get called for an interview. (It's been full since January 21; I save many of my phone messages - for back up.)

Less than 12 hours later, my voicemail is full again. I've got two new calls: one from a number I don't know (no message), and this second call...(wait 10 secs):

Whenever I clear out a few messages, my voicemail gets filled, almost immediately, with calls from people I don't know. It's been like this for about two years.*

Hard luck, I guess. Or maybe I'm just popular.


*Note: Phone clicking began in 1998, and followed me from my mother's home to the first apartment I lived at (1999 to 2000), then, to the second apartment (2000 to present). Crank and wrong number calls began in early 2001.

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Part 2: Fictionalizing Trauma

You may not know the stress I've been through, but hopefully, some may appreciate why I'm so mistrustful and paranoid, and how part of my anger is being actively provoked.

Since 2000, I've been to see over ten different therapists. Several practitioners saw me regularly, for a time. Yet, only one was willing to listen to my phone messages (many of which I haven't posted, yet).

Can you imagine seeing someone, week after week, and telling them that you're being harassed, yet neither the therapist, or anyone else, believes you?

When they ask for proof, I sound like an idiot, when I say: Well, I don't have heat, my neighbour bangs and slams things, I get these phone calls, people say strange things to me, I have internet problems and email spam...and, um, my mother's things break down on specific days, strange incidents are happening to people I know, and certain people have gotten ill or died.

Uh-huhh...NUTCASE.